December 23, 2015

Depression HURTS like a motherf**ker!

Tomorrow marks the SPOT!

3-24-15 to 12-24-15 9 months NO car, NO job, NO money.

My CHRISTMAS is ruined because of corruption and politics in Conway County, Arkansas. This has got to be the WORST Christmas EVER in my entire life! I absolutely, positively and truthfully loathe the ones that are involved in this COVER-UP. I hate them with all my heart and soul. I grant you that much. I hope they rot in hell for eternity. I have NO use for these people at all! Low life scumbags! 

No one has thought about my mom!

Some people need to STFU right NOW! Cry and wine elsewhere, I will NOT listen to it. I had a few to suggest a fundraiser on social media. I was like are you kidding me? I was the one left in the ditch to die with this wreck. The boys and the crooked cops mattered NOT Tina. It would be a fundraiser for them NOT me. There are certain ones that can go F**K OFF and they know who they are too. My mom was never thought of at all. They need to STFU and sit their ass down think long and hard about this. This is a situation that they are favoring for the corrupted. Me and my mom NO ONE gives a sh*t about us that is the whole hearted truth cold hearted truth to be honest. That's a fact Jack. I have told my mom that looking straight into her eyes they don't care about your stress darling hell NO they don't. Conway County is dirty corruption at its finest. I am the exposer NO ONE will favor for me because of that. When it comes to family they will side in with the 'good Ole boy system' that's the mentality here. It is what it is. You know what the kicker here is? I could wake up and find my mother dead over the stress she deals with everyday with this wreck and finances. My mom could wake up and find me dead over the stress or the medical care that I did NOT get when I had my wreck to begin with. I was tossed to the side remember? Does anyone care around here or anywhere? I can answer that fast hell to the NO they don't! It was all about 'the boys' they couldn't have misconduct on their records that's why the alcohol and other things disappeared it was saving them NOT me. The cover up started and mom & I have paid tremendous price for it. I am being REAL and HONEST not sugarcoating one damn thing. Keeping it one hundred! They don't care about her nor do they care about me. End of story! Only thing they are concerned about is lying and keep this cover up a hush hush. God doesn't like UGLY remember that! 

I did NOT get the right medical treatment to begin with.

Now I am falling apart because of MALPRACTICE. My numbness is getting worse and my headaches are getting worse. I have chest pains as well. I was trying to tell that 'quack doctor' that something was going on with me. No one listened at all no one was concerned, they could have cared less about my pain. I should KNOW what is going on it's my body lord help me. I have $18,000 in medical (unpaid) and I have NO insurance so therefore I suffer. When I hurt, I just hurt because I can't do anything about it. I have NO where to go nowhere to turn to because everything is paid off in the state of Arkansas over this cover up. That law firm can go straight to hell too. Scumbags. I hope and pray they get disbarred. They DO NOT need to be in practice. That is PURE honesty. Over the years, how many have they screwed over? I bet God is pissed off about that too. I wish I could take their slogan from their commercials and shove it up their ass being such liars as they are. The horror stories I've heard from other people makes me wonder about them. 

Conway County, Arkansas.........

I have reached out to Dr. Phil, Al Sharpton, Nancy Grace, FBI Headquarters' in Washington DC and the CIA and several more. I reach out on the daily and they know I do trust me. I have got some replies back as well. I have a feeling that they are looking into this and they KNOW this is corruption galore. This will turn out to be HIGH amounts of corruption to be honest if they dig deep down into it here in Conway County, Arkansas. I hope that every skeleton falls out. This goes straight to the sheriff's department to the courthouse the list goes on. Conway County is ONE big cover up and one BIG joke. Someone had to say it and that is why God made me and chose me for this battle. He didn't keep me alive for NO reason. God knows what he is doing and I think its time for a clean up and he started it off with my wreck. God knows all the times the cops have left alcohol off the police reports so on in Conway County, Arkansas. He knows what is up! He knows who got hurt too over the years. This is a casual thing in Conway County Arkansas when someone wants something off a police report one phone call, bam it's gone just like that. Dishonesty at its finest. I hope all the murders that have been covered up here gets expose too. As I recall, the families were told the same story too as I was told. Not one judge will favor for you or your evidence in the state of Arkansas. Boom! Yes, I just typed that because it's the damn truth! 

Depression cuts worse than anger and rage!

I should be living in New England right now. My wreck settlement should have paid out last summer 2 months tops after presenting the pictures May 28th, that was hardcore evidence to bring the whole house down the wreck was a cover up end of story. I should be living New England right now away from Arkansas just come back to visit and go back home to New England where I belong. However I am faced with corruption and scumbag lawyers keeping me away from the courtroom so the pictures can't be presented to reveal the douchebags that covered my wreck up these scumbuckets went to the extreme with this NOT having the pictures in the courtroom. I hate these people so bad how they wrecked my life and my mom's life. This all started from Lies to save the punk ass boys! They ALL need to be throat punched. The main reason for my move is destroyed now all I have is memories that reside in my mind. That makes me want to double throat punch whoever is behind this cover up to destroy my life like they have. People here in Arkansas seen how happy I was and they simply destroyed that makes me sick to my stomach. However I will still move, when plan A gets destroyed there is always plan B and hope for the best from there. While I am living in Arkansas and my life is in shambles. I have lost everything depression really kicks in and the thoughts are nothing nice. If you read my book, I tried to commit suicide because I DID NOT want to move back to Conway County, Arkansas in 2010 when my life fell apart (my life always falls apart in Arkansas never-ending cycle.) Sometimes I wish could go back to that day and put all the bullets in that gun instead of playing Russian Roulette. If I would have placed all the bullets in, I would NOT be here right now going through this cluster fuck and struggling like I'm struggling. I would feel bad for my mom though. In 2010 she lost a grandson (my nephew) over suicide in August she could have lost me (her daughter) in April of that year over suicide. Depression cuts me deep here in Arkansas I am very unhappy. When I found my release in New England it felt great and (I miss it) I've never felt like that before in my life. I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted here in Arkansas. I am tired and wore down all I ever wanted was to leave Arkansas. Depression is what I am struggling with the most. I am miserable and I don't want to live. Why? All the years of being defeated by the scumbags and now I have proof I was telling the truth NOT lying all these years, they have destroyed my life over it because karma came back around to my rescue but I still got punished by the scumbags anyways. To be honest, I am sick of living. This is the hardcore facts of reality. I'm not sugarcoating it one bit. I loathe Arkansas. Someone told me when it's time for you to know the truth it will change you forever and you will have to cut ties with people. There's a spot in Connecticut I want to live. I will be living by myself and that is okay it is what it is. I think Conway County Arkansas owes me that property after all the hell I've been through. I should be able to enjoy the remaining days of my life looking at the ocean, smelling the saltwater in a peaceful state of mind of solitude while I drink my fucking coffee. I know my life will be cut short with the hard life I had to live in Arkansas. I know that. I truly deeply believe Conway County owes me that tranquility in Connecticut. Pure scumbags that tore my life to shreds for greed and HIGH ego's they can't be brought down attitudes. They owe my mom and my kids too. I will raise hell over that as well, I have ever right. THEY HAVE SUFFERED TREMENDOUSLY! I will pray to God that every skeleton falls out in Conway County, Arkansas and they get exposed for all the dirty deeds they have done over the years and so many lives have been destroyed over cover ups by scumbags. May they all rot in hell forever and get what they deserve. I will never ever feel sorry for these f**kers. My mom will NOT feel sorry for them either. What goes around comes back around may karma strike down with furious vengeance on these sorry assholes. They deserve it too! Maybe after this blog maybe just maybe Dr Phil and several FBI agents will be knocking on the door because me and my mother are soooooooooo ready to talk to them. WE ARE READY TO TALK BIG-TIME! Bring the lie detector test please and thank you because mom and I don't have any worries at all. Clean conscience resides in this household. Nothing to hide. 

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