March 16, 2013

God Loves His Bad Children Too

What I am getting at is that, ‘God does NOT judge people.’ Yeah, I am very opinionated person and I take up for myself on the highest level. Who else is going to do it? Nobody but me! I suppose all the stuff I have been through all my life and especially the last 9 years. I did not have any intentions of backing down from that matter. Writing my book about it changed my life and changed my way of thinking and I cannot wait to publish it. Talking about an upcoming life change according to my editor she loved that book and she was happy to help me out. I appreciate it dearly.

Yeah, I cuss and I love women like I do men. I am not going to be damned to hell because how I live and state things. I am being real. Why be fake? Go to church and live a life of pretending. Yeah, my life sucks at the moment. However I am very thankful for the people in my life and the things I have. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God because of him I am keeping my sanity intact. The person that lives in the fake world of pretending will eventually meet their Karma one day and lose everything. That’s how it goes. Speaking of losing stuff I lost more than my share in this lifetime. I was put in this situation for a reason, I believe that now as I wrote a book about it.

I have no desire to change because I am as good as it gets. I hope one day I can get my college degree. I will be the ONLY grandchild to do so. I don’t have that much longer to get it either. The battle that I have been battling over the years will come to a close soon. When I publish my book! All the stuff I lost along the way I will be able to retrieve most of it however I will not be able to retrieve some of the years that I have lost but I will be able to make the upcoming days better for my children and that’s a promise I can make and keep.

I will keep doing what I am doing and I don’t give a fuck what-so-ever. Either you love me or hate me there will never ever be no in between when it comes to me. I don’t believe riding the fence.

March 15, 2013

It Is What It Is

What I call this is pure ‘fuckery’ I just  love that word. It brightens my day when I hear it. However, I had to mention, that everything was calm around me going smoothly. I should have known that these people ‘tweak’ on my sites like no other assholes in this world. On March 6 2013, I was leaving for work and I looked at my door handle it was bent so far out and I pulled on it and made it worse. I had a friend across the road he came over and fixed it. I just needed to get another handle that's all. I guess someone was trying to break into my car. I had two days off from work (my door was okay, when I locked it) then I was leaving out for work. I walked into a mess. I needed to get down the road and get to my job. I was so mad, I should have taken a picture but I didn't  I was in a rush. I was not thinking. I got it working again then left.  I have nothing in my car that anyone would want. That just did not make any sense at all. This is the Ass End of the World, Arkansas.  Anything can happen.  :/ I refuse to go to the police. I will NOT do that, waste of time needless to say. I am not going to lie I was mad about it but I soon got over it.

Then 4 days later, I got the strangest text ever, it was a voice text. I was like WTF, is going on now. I was on my way to work, again. I looked at the number and it looked familiar. I was like I don’t know about this then I ignored it. Then I was working in the ICU that night. I looked at my phone and I had another text. A new ‘Snapped’ is on. Then I was like freaking out now. My friend mention to me, did you not mention on a blog about Snapped. I was thinking to myself. Yeah, I sure did. Now I understand, crack-heads will be crack-heads. My friend told me to do a screen shot and I did. In a few days I put it on Instagram.  Because IDGAF, I have been through so much hell. I just don’t care anymore. I asked who it was and I did not get a reply back. I thought that was odd.

On the note, I am going to be so glad to publish my book. I hit a road block because the company I was going to use is under investigation. I talked to them on the phone they fumbled every sentence when I asked a question. I did find another company and I will be dealing with them very soon. Everything happens for a reason, a slight delay with my book is okay. I will get there no ands if or buts about it. In the mean time I will keep blogging and tweeting. I will continue to market my story. One day soon, very soon, it will PAY off for me. I will make sure I take a picture with my middle finger straight into the air and do a lovely blog just for them. DILLIGAF? Nope! This is only making me stronger and wiser just saying

March 4, 2013

Writing (Myself) OUT of this Situation

Writing (myself) out of this situation has to be the smartest thing I have done in a long-time. I am glad that I was talked into writing these books. It will help me out of my hole that I am in because of this county needless to say. That is OK though, what doesn't kill me through this period of my life will make me stronger in the end. These books are going to help me out mentally, emotionally and physically. Therapeutic writing is the bomb! Why spend money on therapy, when you can pocket that money through books. Something that I thought I could never ever be able to do. I done it! I wrote a book, a novel. It is such an accomplishment. I have turned my wounds into words. I think everyone should write at least one book in their life.
I have had nothing in life but hell pure hell. The next book I am working on is a touchy subject. I am going back to two years of age. I am glad I am doing it and I really don’t care who I piss off because I am being on-point that’s all. I have had several people to tell me I have something write about. They wouldn't want my life that is for sure. Maybe this is my calling my reason to be here. I know I am not the only one that is going through this in past-tense, present-tense and future-tense. That’s how the world works I suppose. Live and learn.

I used to have a place of my own; I had that taken away from me when I did not obey the ‘Good Ole Boy System’ that’s all in my first book. Writing straight from the heart relives the hatred and anger issues that are embedded deep in your soul. That causes so much pain and writing is a sweet release. Yes, it is.

After I get my series done that will be a total of 4 books in all. I will pursue my BA in professional writing. I think I will do this for the next 20 years since I have been in the medical field for that last 20 years. Writing takes me to a happy place and I know I can do it. I have a lot of ideas for future books when my self-healing writing is done and out of the way. I am working at a job that saddens me, why not change it up a little and write about things that I enjoy and love.

You are never too old to start a new adventure. You only live once and live it the way you want too. If people have any problems with it, they can stay away from you or be your friend and help you out through the good-times and the bad. "Life is too short to put up with bullshit." That’s my motto. Just remember, GOD IS GOOD!