May 1, 2012

A BOOK, I think so, it's TIME!

When I done my, “Depression TimeLine” I spoke up too soon. I will be blogging about this occurrence I betcha! See I live in tornado alley. We had 2 trees to be cut down before they landed on top of the house. However that is beside the point. We were looking for someone to cut the trees, low and behold my ex-father in-law and my ex-husband from my last marriage came to my house, ummmm I have been doing these blogs for quite some time now. They actually came to our house to place a bid to cut them down. I mean, seriously? Really? My jaw about hit the floor, we had numerous people to place a bid to cut the trees down. Luckily someone else done it and it was at a reasonable price and they had the job done in two hours tops. Let’s get back to the ex- and the ex- in law; it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. If I was them, this is what I would have done, I would have said, “Hell no, I will not cut those trees, but I will recommend someone though.” It’s all about common sense and logic and that doesn’t exist around here. That just blew me away. However it was not long I was on Twitter and (tweeting) my thoughts about it. I am not bashful, not one bit. Then they turned around and told us, “Now if this is going to cause problems with Tina, we will not do it.”HELLO I don’t want my 2nd ex-husband on my property around me or my family. I found this quite disturbing since I have been blogging about my troubles for quite some time now. I got sick at my stomach and cried I will not lie about it. Then I asked a few people what they thought about it. All the same answers, my ex, he just wanted to be near me and his wife knows it too. It’s no secret. It’s some sick shit and I need to always keep myself protected and guarded at all times. I just shook my head and try to find the perspective within this nightmare and I have not quite figured it out yet.

So I will be doing my own book in my own words. Well, at first I wanted someone else to do it and I would do like an interview talk about it. What I am saying talk to someone and they can worry about the wording and the sentences. Blogging and writing a book are totally different. Now I want to do it and because it will be therapy and it will help me in the long-run. I have some really good friends and they want me to do it too. Several keep up with my blogs. One of them is an editor and she wants me to type it and she will structure it, the way it should be. She has no doubt in her mind that the book will be a success but I need to be the one to draw in the audience. She told me I could do it. The only reason I was iffy about it. I have doors that are closed with pad locks on them, now I have to unlock and open the doors. She told me, I will feel oh so much better and I can heal and move on. She is the one that is pushing me. I am over me being scared; I am ready to do this. I know in my heart it will help me most likely piss people off. I am to the point I don’t give a shit. You know, it will be 2 years this year 9-17-12 of me blogging and they pull that shit, yes; I am so ready to do this book! I think so!

On the note. all that I have lost, the time that I can't get back. The mental abuse that I have endure over many, many years. I am one pissed off woman. I am thankful for what I have at this present time.I am 38 years old. I should NOT be in the situation I am in, I have lost a lot and I am drowning still. I can't win for losing because of these sick and twisted bastards. It's time for me to blow this shit out of the water. I will come out on top, just watch me. I got this, hands down! Eight years worth, 2004-2012, yup, I have a lot to discuss I do believe.

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