January 2, 2012

Life is Too Short for Bullsh*t

Life is too short to live with turmoil. I have noticed that some of my friends are losing their children and for the most part that I have seen they have just one child. That is so sad. Sometimes I just think what is the purpose of losing someone close to you especially a young child and where does the reason lie upon. Just trying to figure out the reason is an understatement. I can say this much, which has run through my mind lots and lots of time. I know that my life is extremely hard and sometimes it’s unjustifiable because most of this situation was uncalled for. I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of my kids. My daughter will be 17 in a few weeks. In a few months my son will be 15. That would totally kill me, if I lost one of them. My life is a drastic mess I don’t know from one minute to the next what is going to happen to me. That is why I want to leave the South and control this matter. My life is not pretty not by a long shot. I think losing one of my kids would send me over the edge. I could not take that by no means not at all. I would defiantly go ballistic because all the stress that I have to endured on a daily basis and the bullying by a county the (Good Ole Boy System). I would be a dangerous woman. I always think of things like this and my mom. I even think about that too. I am blessed where I am staying and I am extremely grateful for the things that are given to me. There isn’t a day that goes by I am not thankful for, because the next minute it could be all gone. Yes, I have my head on my shoulders I just have a very turbulent life and that drives me crazy and I wish I just had stability I mean just once in my life can I have a steady measure of security and could it be controlled. However I live day by day and that means a lot to me. We really don’t know what the future will bring and maybe that is a good thing not to know, huh?

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