April 9, 2014

Conway County Arkansas; leaves a bad taste in my mouth!

Conway County Arkansas leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That is real talk! I will be ever so glad to move away from here. However I have kids and I just have one more year. That is what you call sacrifice of being a mother. If it wasn't for that I would have left a long time ago. I have one child grown another on his way. Then I can get the hell out of dodge never regret one moment of my decision. It was bad enough that I was run out of the county in 2005 I had to move to Sherwood. That was another nightmare. No support here for me but that is OK I got this.

My laptop and my car. My laptop got a bad virus in it. I hope and pray that I can recover my content like pictures and documents.  I see that Microsoft Word is my main problem; imagine that.  However I will take care of that problem when I get my new laptop.  I have never trusted living here and this makes it more obvious. I have always had a gut instinct about my living arrangements.  I will be taking care of that soon when I move. I had to do the best that I could do for what I had. I have pushed through a lot of bullshit around me. I put up with too much shit. My car I was waiting for that day. I will pay my $303.00 go on about my rat killing. The crackheads that I put up with. I will be glad to get a new car but I know I will not be living here when I get a new car. It is what it is and I will push through that too. I have no other choice.

My book must be a threat so that means the truth is setting me free no matter what I am going through.  This also states that a lot of guilty consciences' is on a rise. I will work twice as hard to get me another laptop and get my car fixed. No matter what they throw at me I will rise above it. Some of these people are pathetic and waste of my time. I don't know what this will accomplish for them because I will be sending my 2nd book off regardless of what is going on in my life. I had a couple people to tell me I can come up to their house and use their Microsoft Word if all else fails. It's sad that a person can't write the way they want to write because of obstacles like adults in the way.  I am halfway through my 2nd book. I will get through this because they are forgetting that God is helping me along the way. He knows this should to be done. He will get me there.

See I only exist here in Arkansas. I don't live I just exist.  I just breathe that's all. How can a person like myself live in a nasty environment when everyone is up your ass 24/7. You can't fart without someone knowing about it. This is a sad life I live but I will make it through.  When I get the hell out of dodge I will never ever regret it because I will be living my life for the very first time in my life I'm 40. I did not know that the truth with my 1st book making people go bananas like they have been doing. I see humor in it because the truth is setting me free no matter what is going on around me!