May 16, 2013

I LOVE Writing

I love writing, I swear I do. My daughter graduated from high-school. I was really amazed how good I was and how I acted because I am NOT on meds.  Meds are a cop-out there are ways that people can deal with life problems that’s real-talk. One doesn’t have to rely on drugs or alcohol in all due in respect your problems are going to still be there when you come off that stuff. I was nice to people that I had problems with at one point in time or another. I was even nice to my dad. I was told to be civil and I was. I know one day I will have to look at him in a coffin if he doesn’t get cremated. I totally understand that. At this point in my life, I am proud of myself. Man, I had so much hate in my heart. I know it had to be my writing for me to get over many situations I have. When I done my 1st book, I wrote about it and I put it in a story form. I got over the hump that I needed to get over. I forgave but I will never forget. Since I am doing my 2nd book, I am analyzing my situation with my dad and I am getting over that too. I think December of 2011, I snapped, I had enough of the mental abuse, I just walked away I couldn’t handle it anymore. He knew what he was doing and he doesn’t need to play dumb with me, I am so over that. I really don’t know if I will get emotional whenever he dies to be honest. I have so many mental scars over him and I have so mental scars from this county that I live in. They ran me into the ground full force. I think when I had my mental breakdown. I began to go into deep writing and released the demons that were bogging me down. My problems began like the matrix; I was putting the pieces together and understanding it all. I never thought that I could do this and I am simply proud of myself. I had a hard life, I don’t have the resources like normal people would and get a shrink. I had to be a shrink and teach myself. I was in a hole and I am still there but I am slowly come out of it. Most would have turned to drugs and alcohol. I chose to deal with it. I learned a lot about writing in 1993, when I had to sit through a few anger management classes that my uncle made me do. I told him 3 times that’s all and I wanted my name nowhere. Sometimes I think about that time and I should have gone through all the classes and had my name down. In 1993, I was a stupid little girl. I would recommend writing, I chose to publish mine other people don’t have too. Just writing things down, you get a better perspective in life and that is the God’s honest truth. I am glad that I am becoming a better person. I really am.