My sweet sweet book! Either that book made me or it broke me.
I think that I am stronger now that I have ever been in my life. Even though I
had to put it in a fictional world needless to say for all kinds of numerous
reasons, however I am proud of what I have written into form. I am glad that I
am doing these books. If I got through the first one I will be able to get
through the rest of them I am sure of that.
What I have been through I need some kind of break. I have
been through fucking hell and I did not realize that until I went back in time
and seen this at a different angle and it was shocking to me. I had to unlock
doors that I had pad locks on and I did not have any intention of opening those
doors again. I will admit it, I had a meltdown and it was a bad one. I had a
headache for several days and I cried so much. I guess I need that kind of release.
I cried more than I have in a long time. I just did not want anyone see that
side of me. I went through a lot. I just can’t wait to publish this book but in
the meantime I have heavy duty editing and get my ending right. I am a
perfectionist you know how that goes. I had to go back into time but I made it
through.
I have the BEST editor
in the world and she will guide me to where I need to go. She has been a rock
through all of this and I will have an appreciation page just for her. I want
other people to use her, her work is phenomenal, and I recommend her all the
way. She rocks.
In January I will send off my manuscript and I will get this
rolling. My praying has gone up and beyond the limits. God hasn’t got a problem
with me doing this, I assure you that much. God is good, no need to say anymore
because I know and he knows too.
I will get on the Dr Phil show NO ands ifs or buts about it. My
first copy that I get will go directly to him. That is a promise I can keep.
This book will help out my struggles as well as my family. I am keeping a positive
note and no one can bring me down. I have been down way to long and this book
has risen me up out of my slump. I needed that in worst kind of way. Writing is
like soup to the soul.
I made a strong dedication to this; I shut my social life
down. Only time I went out when I had the kids. Tina Time was out the door for
the time being. I meant what I said. Strong pure dedication and I was told it
would favor for me in the long run. Good things happen to good people when they
work hard towards a goal. I have worked hard on this and the first time in my
life I am pleased with myself, I hated myself for a long time now. Feeling like
that means the world to me. My next book is playing in
motion as well I can’t wait to start on that one. It will be a challenge
however I am up for it just saying. Gotta love my twisted life.
