October 1, 2012

Anger Issues

As I am writing this book, I am dealing with anger issues I mean on a serious level.  I just think back, why I did I have to go through that level of torment and disgust? I really don’t think I will get a straight answer not in this lifetime anyways. I am just so angered. I think I could drop kick some of these cops and informants in their fucking head. It is so sad that I feel this away but I do. I am pulling some really fucked up moments out that happened to me along this journey of hell. I am like really, did I really go through that? I have never in my life felt this kind of frustration like I do. I should have done this book in 2010. I am feeling better as I write this book though. This is one hell of a testimonial on a fictional level. It is what it is. I think if I make the Dr Phil my emotions are going to be off the charts. I am very angered about this situation. So many people that I know they want me on that show.
Yeah, my car is in the shop as I type this, my theory, my car has 173,000 miles it’s old and run down and things are going to happen. I got to keep my car as long as I can while I am doing these books. My friend’s theory, someone done something to it, I highly doubt it but if that was the case. Anything that goes on around me will eventually be brought to light. OK, I have a Blog out and me fighting for my rights to be left alone. Anything is possible. I am NOT going to worry about it. They can set it on fire. Whatever….. It will be brought to surface in the long run. I am NOT going to stop my book. These bastards have ruined my life and its payback time.

If I sell 10 million books that will be 10 million people all around the world that will know what I have been through. I am NOT worried about the money I am worried about Dr Phil, as I was told, your book is Dr Phil material with lots of psychological trauma to one person. I know what I have to do when I get towards the end of the book and that will be the hardest thing for me to do. I know I have to do it even if I don’t get a reason why this had to happen to me. Hey, least I have the balls to put this in a story form and get it out there one way or another. The second book will be another killer for me but I know I got to do it. I will start on that soon. I am going to need lots of strength to carry me through this period of time in my writing that is for sure.

 Yes, I will be in touch with a self-publisher. Yes, I will spend what I need to spend to get the book published. Yes, I will be getting a second job. No, IDGAF I am strong enough to do this and strong enough to get it done. In the end it will be worth it on a mental status that is.