March 17, 2011

This County has Emotionally, Mentally and Physically ran me into the GROUND.

I have been working on this since September 17th of 2010. Today makes 6 months. I just got my feel of the bullsh*t and I really didn’t know how to deal with it. However putting my feelings on my blog and let the world see and read what I am really feeling inside makes it a little easier to live with. I moved back to this horrible county in May of 2010 and it was really hard on me living here by September of 2010, I was in a nervous wreck. I just could not take it anymore. I never had any problems expressing myself over this situation. If I don’t get it out of me, this could run me nuts or make me really bad sick. I am very opinionated and vocal person, I had to be, to get along in this world. My life hasn’t been peaches and crème; I have had a very rough road to hold and raising my kids as well, that’s extremely hard. My kids shouldn't have been put through this, which is very sad right there, it really is. My life is pretty much a headache. However I am a very thankful for the good things that are presented to me from time to time not very often though. That is one thing I can say, I am extremely thankful person and I appreciate what is given to me that is the truth. I think I have put up with enough and I need to see a break, years and years I have been living in hell and basically I think that is how life really is and logically I know it’s not how life is supposed to be. I am just tired of it and tired of the slandering to tell you the truth of the matter. I have had people come up to me and like my BlogSpot and some told me how you dare you say those things. I had my come back if you would open your small and uneducated mind and look at the “Big Picture” then you would understand. This county is f*cked up and everything is done ass backwards. It seems like I am the only one that is making a stance. There are people that have lost loved ones and let me tell you this much there are a bunch of those people that are grieving over the dead. Just remember the dead can’t talk it is going to take the living to be their voices. I hope that I don’t have to deal with death that would really push me over the edge I feel so sorry for the ones that have lost their family along the way over stupid BS; I just wish they would make a stand too and do something about this county. I really do and it would make a difference. I know it would. This county is pathetic and it needs an extreme makeover and get rid of the low lives that run it. It is not the 1950’s not by a long shot. Thank God! I had my fair share of things (yes) I have, however February 26th of this year. I had a very eventful day (yes) I did. However my blow out that happened on the way to town, with a car full of teenagers mind you. If it comes to light that these 2 little boys that I know, the ones that I am having problems with had anything to do with it, they are in some deep doo-doo. I promise one thing, I will put them so far under the jail cell and they will NEVER see the light of day again. That is a promise I can make. One left out of state that day and I hope the hell he lives out there and NEVER moves back. I am going to wish really hard on that one. But like the story goes, I bet he is causing hell and havoc out there. So who knows. They might have their bluff in on everybody not me I am not scared of them not by a long shot. Talking about being quite since his brother moved out of state, I haven’t heard a word how ironic is that and I am glad that I got to see this and it shows me what is really up. Someone told me that he does not have a protector now since his brother is gone. This has been a real eye opener for me and I understand it now. It took a move out of the state to realize who was actually started sh*t with me. His younger brother is about dumb as a box of rocks and you can put him up to anything if he knows someone has his back, LOL. The ones that are married to these little boys are as dumb as a box of rocks too. I look back and see how stupid I looked and I am very ashamed of myself. Why did I do that? WTF, was I thinking? I needed my ass kicked up between my shoulders for real. I had to pull out of college this semester my nerves are bad and something had to give. I hated the fact that it was my studies that had to suffer for it. I have never done this before and I hope my university understands however I was on a brink of a nervous breakdown. Hell my nerves are still bad. I hope all is well and I can resume in the fall. I hope and pray that there are no problems and I can just start right back up. That scares me to death; I don’t have a degree and my student loans to boot, WTF. I am in a world of hurt if I can’t. Try to go to college and I can’t even do that and my nerves are worn thin. I was going to go into nursing school that would have been something else. Nursing school and the way my life is, yep that would have ended my life real quick. I could have not put up with both of those at the same time, hell to the NO! I am a strong person but not that strong. It is sad that a person can’t have anything in their life however I have become accustomed to it. My life is a big pile of sh*t and I get so sick of how I have to live I swear I do. There is one thing I can say, I am not afraid of death, not at all. The man up above knows what misery I live in everyday of my life. The way I see it I would be free of everything no more worries that is for sure. A stroke or heart attack will take me out, with all the stress I live with and it is a lot. Sometimes I really don’t know how I do it, I really don’t. I step off my front porch and people know when I am gone and they know what I am doing and when I get back home. Now, what kind of life is that to live? I am not a famous person either, just a regular woman that is trying to live her life and it is very hard to do, yes it is. I hate this county and I hate this state. If I ever get a chance to get the hell out of here, I am gone with the wind and I will never look back and not regret one thing about moving away, far away. That is a promise I can keep. Between my taxes and student loans and my regular bills oh about 55 grand. I am glad I don’t own a house or land. I would really be 6 feet under then. I am the one that is doing right and I am the one that is trying. A big pile of sh*t gets dumped on my head on a daily basis. I am just sick of it and want a change in my life. I hope that I can get my idea off the ground. Find me a web designer that I like and get LegalZoom for my legal work and maybe just maybe I can do something with my life before I die. Living in hell I am sick of it and I need a different outlook in life. I swear to God if I can sue this county and there is a chance in the future that I can, so help me God paybacks are going be a bitch from me I swear it is, no holds bar. I am going to rip this county a new a**hole no doubt about that. This is years of punishment for no reason at all. In the long rung of this situation I will be glad I didn't back down. If I live long enough to see it, the FEDS don’t have to worry. Because I will help them nip it in the bud real quick like! When the sh*t goes down they all better be ready!

March 1, 2011

Tina's Testimony of Corruption within the Police Force and The Good 'Ole' Boy System

As of September 17th 2010 this has motivated me to get the word out, I can't deal with it any longer too many years to be exact. However October 20th 2010 of the incident with my ex-brother in law, he and his brother are getting on my last nerves this needs to stop. That was too early in the morning for that kind of behavior, why? I don't know. Then November 23rd 2010 leaving from my classes that day, I had a run in with the Highway Patrol Cop, which that has turned me into an activist, cops should not be allowed to torment people. I wonder if he remembered the cameras on his car, prolly not this is Arkansas. They were most likely turned off, knowing my luck. So therefore I will get this out on the net and I will get this out there in the media as well. I have also been working hard to get this on Dr. Phil; I will go to extreme measures to get this on the show. Maybe just maybe he and his crew can help me out with this problem in hand. Now that is a promise I can keep. The Arkansas Criminal Justice System has failed me. I will believe it when I see it and I am being serious about it too. I can't believe they let people do this and get away with it. It absolutely makes me want to vomit because no justice has been served. When you can take protect and serve under oath (mind you), however they have turned it around and it is torment and scare the citizens. I thought I would dedicate this page for this special reason. I have seen that bullying is making the news a lot and it is growing and on the rise. However what about bullying amongst the thugs and the crooked law department? Has anyone ever thought about that one? Apparently not, that is very sad. It is just not noticed like the ones that has made the news. That is why I am trying to get the word out and stop this nonsense. This kind of behavior can be very tiresome to an individual, I know for a fact it can wear a person down and bring all kinds of emotional dwellings. It is very unlawful and it should not happen in the first place. I used to be a most kind hearted person you could have ever known, a very loving woman. However throughout the years and all that I have been through with NO help from the law. This has turned me into a cold hearted bitch. I have trust issues and it has buried me alive. Hey, it is the truth, I am a very different person now, that makes me so damn mad but there is nothing I can do about it though. I would appreciate that you take my link and tweet it or take my link and put in a bulletin or email it to different ones, let them know that something needs to be done about this kind of behavior. Send it to Dr. Phil, I will get on that show, I will address this problem, because it needs to stop. Thank You

This is the truth and how I feel about the whole thing. I am getting so tired people coming to me and telling me, Tina, I heard the most awful thing about you. This is called SLANDER and I am sick of it. I just want to be left alone that's all I ever wanted. So now it's my time to talk and get the word out and explain my side for once. I am NOT going to take it and I am NOT backing down either. I am done stick a fork in me. Ok, I have had some concerns about what I say on here and my Twitter account. Bill of Rights, 1) Freedom of Speech baby. Well I am NOT putting names out so therefore assumptions or assuming can't be held up in court. Not like the ones in my county saying my full name. To the ones that are saying it, their jig is about up and they are going to jail. I can promise that much. To these people that I know in person better have hardcore facts and proof to back it up like actual names. I am tired of the BS and I refuse to put up with it any longer. Has anybody sat down and look at what damages that are being caused from it and what it is doing to me. Really truthfully have ya'll thought about it. Has anyone thought about my health and the stress that I endure on a daily basis (I have a heavy case load everyday). NO, I don't think so. There are so many selfish people involved in this and they are not looking at the broader view of the picture and that is a very sad. Yes, now my health is effective by it and I could have a heart attack or a stroke. I really don't know how much more I can take from this so called county that I live in now, which sucks BTW, I really don't like living there not at all, and really I don't like it there after what I have been through. I am tired and wore out and I just want to be left alone. I have had enough and I am going to get my story out there. This made me to think of a solution to get the word out about corruption and it is time for someone to stand up and fight for their rights for a peaceful life. We only live once you know and I just want to be at peace with myself. I have been in the ruins of hell for 6 years. Well it will be 7 years in January 21 2010. This is like an on and on story that never ends. I am basically sick and tired of it and I am here to put an end to it and tell my side of the story. See I put up with the 'Good O Boy System and what it brings with it like punk-ass b**ches to be exact. You know the crooked law system and cops and all. See my 2nd X hubby was a good O boy not a cop though, so make it short. I got out of a marriage that I did not want to be in anymore. I had enough of moving in and out all the time. He moved out on my 30th B-day, that was the last straw. I told myself no more, I am much done this time to be exact. Well he made out that I am the one that was chasing him, blah blah and blah. Because I did not want him anymore and he was saying that. WTF So I did not obey the system so I got ran out of town for many years. For example, (what I endure in this county) ~the day he left~ 1-21-04 a helicopter over my house for illegal activities, I slept the whole night. I should have taken pictures of that. That is my regret. I would have put them on here for real. Then later on that year in June, my family sent me out to Colorado for 2 weeks to stay with my brother thank God for my brother. Because I had a nervous breakdown of other stuff that was going on it was too much for me to handle. I will NEVER forget the week before I left it was nothing but hell. One thing I remember vividly about it was going to the town store to get my son's birthday stuff and walking in the store and the scanner was on and the person were saying the silver neon just pulled in and the suspect and her son are walking in the store. I was so freaking mad, I just got my stuff and left. Then I finally got my divorce thank God, however my X came over that night and he could not believe it was over, he just wanted to come home. I said, "Hell No" and he said, “if I can't have you nobody will, I will make your life a living hell from here on." Boy was that an understatement! Then 1-21-05 (My B-Day once again) all I am going to say about this was 2 pounds of stuff was going to be placed in my car (BTW he had the keys to my car the 2nd set) and 4, 7 and 11 was on standby. However I was warned and my butt went to bed at 7 that night. No ands ifs or buts about it. The next day I got my Gold PT Cruiser straight off the showroom floor. I was not messing around with it either. My sister law on the other hand was not that lucky. She was on 4, 7, and 11. She was not warned. Her life was ruin forever! However there is a something, something out there and we will know who actually took the kid out of the car. Someone’s face is going to turn ghostly white for real! Mine was on a Friday and hers was on a Monday. They need to ask the prior Sheriff, the one in 05 you know the one before he had a heart attack so he says if he had one so did I! OMG~ these people are so stupid. He had to step down. How about the $10,000 to $60,000 (in that range) dollar pay off to her now I am talking about the present Sheriff -oh boy- he is a dandy, no wonder she was buying stuff left and right. I guess I should have done that and fell for the trap and I could have set them up with the FEDS, that is another regret I have to live with ;( I live with a lot of regrets BTW, shoulda coulda woulda! (Why me?) More stuff went on as the year went by, then I sold out my place which it was completely furnished, I did not take nothing with me but my personal stuff and few odds and ends, I basically had to started all over. I just wanted out of that county and that was okay if I had to start all over and get new stuff. 11-10-05 was a new beginning for me. So, I thought. I still had problems, I saw my 2nd X up there around my place in 2006 and 2007. Very chilling huh and disturbing. My last incident was July 2010 and my X brother in law is a real big help to my X husband as well. I loathe these people. I also had an incident on April 9th 2010 with a mailbox being stolen and he was on a 4 wheeler riding by my house all day long! Me and my kids saw him. All the crap I put up with I just hate it! Through all of this he did get married again more less an ultimatum of a gift that they had between them. See I was blind in my 20's very stupid it was less like a haze or fog for 10 years, til this day I still don't understand my motive 20-30 then I finally woke up and smelt the coffee. He cheated on his 1st wife and cheated on me and cheating on the 3rd as I was told. If she would stop and look he has a repeated pattern going on. He talked bad about his 1st wife to me, he talked bad about me to the 3rd, now he is talking bad about her to God knows who and I really don't care. He can go straight to hell! See I am something he can't have ever again in this lifetime, he had me at one point in time and he did not want me. However I don't want to be in the same room again with him at all. Hell to the NO! I don't want to be accused of being with him in this day of time. He can say he was with me I don't care, if that is the case, or carry my number around, I don't care, he better NEVER cross my path again and that goes right along with his brother too. Quit sending your family members to my house that is getting OLD and I am getting SICK of it. THANK YOU! Word from the wise, to you my dear, Mrs. Thing; you better have hardcore facts before coming after me, phone records, pictures and such. I have NOT talk to the moron since 04 I will NOT be talking' to him in this lifetime never again, so you better get your facts straight before I handle it. If you don't know what I say on here, then you should not know, in the eyes of society, that consider stalking, you guys do alot of that with me on a daily basis. Just get a life and leave me alone, for once!

 Being pounced on all the time by these sick and twisted people can get on ones nerves. That is for sure, a person can take so much and they can't take no more. I am at that breaking point, I am done and I am coming after them (if I live long enough). Like I was saying about my health, I really haven't felt good these past few months I really haven't. If you look at it, I have kids, school and work. Hell that is a lot (and I am single too), then you need to add my X-in laws and X-husbands (2) I will NEVER get married again, I PROMISE that much HELL NO been there done that not for me, and add the crooked police force too. Now you tell me how I am dealing with it? I would love to hear the answer to that one! My nerves are shattered beyond repair at this point in time. I go and go and go, that is all I know how to do. I wake up in the mornings, I hurt a lot, and however I just get up and go. I have no choice. I am the one that is trying' and I am the one that is getting' sh*t on all the time. Like I told someone, one morning they are going to find me dead. I will lay down for bed the night before that is going to happen I feel it. Death is knocking at my door. See all of this could have been prevented, however they let these types of people just go and do what they want to do. If you look at it, this county is in the paper and the news (TV) all the time, and it is being covered up for the most part. We all know that is true, I am so sick and tired of this. All I ever wanted was to be happy and have a normal life. However that was not in the cards for me in this lifetime I suppose. Instead, I wake up in a nightmare everyday and ask myself. What have I done to be treated this way by these punk-ass bitches? Because I don't play by the rules and don't do what they say, well I have some words for these people, F**K you guys and go straight to hell! Something tells me that KARMA is coming for these people. I just hope that I live to see it, because something needs to be done. I just have that gut feeling I have for a long time now, when the sh*t goes down, they better be ready. What has been done in the dark will be brought to light. Maybe just maybe we can start breathing again. I hope so, I am such a good person too, I have been done oh so wrong! That is a crying shame and it is very sad! That someone has to live her life like I do and there was no point in this at all! See I am NOT angry, I am just telling it like it is, for most part people will turn it around and say I am angry because they don't want to accept the fact that I am telling the truth. See, I am NOT blindsided at all, I know what is going on. I am not stupid nor are the other people that are involved in this matter as well. I just have the balls to say what other people are wanting to say that is the difference between a realist and a nonrealist . Because to tell you the truth about it, I really don't care what you think about me, I am living my life or trying to live my life, if other people would just stay out of it and STFU in the process of me living my life. Ignorance is bliss in the south, it really is and that is sad on most part. But, that is life, however I am one tough chic and I will open a can of whoop-ass if needed, cause I am not bashful like that. Life has thrown me some dandy's (oh how I know about it) I think I can handle a lot, if I can't handle it then I will meet the maker, death I am NOT afraid of it at all. The way I see it no more suffering, no more pain and no more sorrow. No more waking up into a nightmare every day. Death is a reward if you look at it that way. We are born to die, that is the facts. I am not angry or crazy I am just telling the truth and the truth is hurting a lot of people. To those people that I know, welcome to my world.

My 1st husband I have kids by him, so I don't want them mad at me. However it is funny how mommy and daddy save his ass from the DEA all the time. That story there kind of makes me sick at my stomach. At least I have one baby daddy. Don't want to talk about it either! This is a very sore subject to me and it is very unfair especially what I have been through. This here makes me mad as hell and I am not the one to forget it either!

This is why I am single till this day, going on 7 years. I have had people to tell me that they would just stay single if they went through what I went through. The next man comes into my life, will have a good education and a good job and he can drink sum not much and NO drugs are allowed! Hell NO! One baby mama, (Not 2 baby mama, oh NO!) cause Tina does NOT like drama! My life My Rules! I struggle so hard by myself; I refuse to struggle with another person with another income. Living paycheck to paycheck is NOT going to cut the mustard. If I had to do that I rather be alone the rest of my life! Oh, Mr Money man it would NOT be a wise idea to ignore me. That is why I have you last on here mister. So I can add and let the world see and read this. You need to think twice about screwing me over. We do have history together since December of 2002. Stabbing me in the back is a very wrong move and I will get this out there too. I am not bashful, not for one minute not in this lifetime. (Another word from the wise, you threw me under the bus, wait till I throw you under it big smiles) Well I can say that I am living the "American Nightmare" that is an understatement for sure. I wish that something would be done about this county I live in, I wish that I can post links on here, I would give anything to do that, but that will cause me more grief though, one day soon I bet I can, that will be a blessing.  If I can sit down with somebody one day, I would love to do a book on my life. I was told that a book and movie could be made over this turmoil that I have been in, that is for sure.