F**K YOU!

I just got sick of it! I started to blog about this situation September 17, 2010. It started on MySpace then went on to BlogSpot. I got tired of my second ex-husband sending people over, trying to get me to go out. So he could pop up and be around me. I don’t think so. He's been playing these games since 2004. His brother played a BIG part in it too.  He about drove me nuts. What he needs to do is lay low maybe just maybe he will go to jail. This time he will stay there for good. He can’t keep out of trouble that is an understatement. As for my second ex-husband, his wife knows all about his infidelities don’t let that fool ya! She has caught him and knows about the numbers, he is a whore, end of story. I am just telling the truth, I have been all along. It’s all in my blogs straight into the archive. I didn’t blog about these occurrences for my health. I blogged about these occurrences because I could not get NO damn help in Arkansas, some women want to put up with mental abuse and physical abuse. I have had my fair share of it. She might like it, not me, just saying. I will publish this book it’s all on a fictional level and most people don’t want to hear truth but I feel oh so better writing it and I can’t wait to start on my second book. That was will be a dandy because I will not be sugar coating my childhood hell to the no I will not.

I got to jot down what I have bought for my daughter since I am a bad mom and all.

1)    Homecoming 2010 (my daughter) dress, shoes, accessories, hair, nails and all that goes with it. $250.00 who paid for it? Me and my Mom

2)   Class Ring (My daughter) $510.00 who paid for it? Me

3)   Prom 2012 (my daughter) dress and shoes accessories $150.00. Who paid for it? Me Her dad hair and nails.

4)   Homecoming 2012 (My Son) $375.00. Who paid for it? Me and my Mom

5)   Senior Pictures (My Daughter) $200.00. Who paid for it me? Me

6)   Senior package (My daughter) $350.00. Who paid for that? My mom

7)   Senior annual announcement (my daughter) $175.00. Who paid for it? Me

Where was her dad in this part? Oh wait her hair and nails, my bad. Before someone says that I am a piece of shit mom better think about it. I can’t get ahead here. But I will go up and beyond to make sure my kids have what they need.

 My book will be a blessing to me and my 3 favorite people in this world; I am the disturbed one and the crazy one. I think I am doing just fine I must have to say. I just don’t let anyone walk all over me that’s all! Thank God for my Social sites over the years it sure has helped me out. This state plays a big part of “psychosis” all in your head bullshit. What a fucking joke. I know I have been beat to the ground, I can’t get ahead to save my life here. However I will make sure my kids have what they need. I bet your sweet ass on that. There is nothing wrong with me; I have zero tolerance to mental abuse and control. I stand my ground that makes me a crazy bitch so fucking be it. Majority of these motherfuckers can kiss my ass! I am stoked about my second book; I can’t wait to start on it. I am totally excited about it. My mom just gave me her car because mine was going to lay down and die on me at any given time. I can’t get a new car with what’s going on in my life at the moment. I live in the real world that is not possible. Yup, I can’t wait to launch my book and the others that fall behind it. I can’t get a degree but I am able to publish a book and become a published author. You gotta love Arkansas!!!

My BOOK!

My sweet sweet book! Either that book made me or it broke me. I think that I am stronger now that I have ever been in my life. Even though I had to put it in a fictional world needless to say for all kinds of numerous reasons, however I am proud of what I have written into form. I am glad that I am doing these books. If I got through the first one I will be able to get through the rest of them I am sure of that.

What I have been through I need some kind of break. I have been through fucking hell and I did not realize that until I went back in time and seen this at a different angle and it was shocking to me. I had to unlock doors that I had pad locks on and I did not have any intention of opening those doors again. I will admit it, I had a meltdown and it was a bad one. I had a headache for several days and I cried so much. I guess I need that kind of release. I cried more than I have in a long time. I just did not want anyone see that side of me. I went through a lot. I just can’t wait to publish this book but in the meantime I have heavy duty editing and get my ending right. I am a perfectionist you know how that goes. I had to go back into time but I made it through.

 I have the BEST editor in the world and she will guide me to where I need to go. She has been a rock through all of this and I will have an appreciation page just for her. I want other people to use her, her work is phenomenal, and I recommend her all the way. She rocks.

In January I will send off my manuscript and I will get this rolling. My praying has gone up and beyond the limits. God hasn’t got a problem with me doing this, I assure you that much. God is good, no need to say anymore because I know and he knows too.

I will get on the Dr Phil show NO ands ifs or buts about it. My first copy that I get will go directly to him. That is a promise I can keep. This book will help out my struggles as well as my family. I am keeping a positive note and no one can bring me down. I have been down way to long and this book has risen me up out of my slump. I needed that in worst kind of way. Writing is like soup to the soul.

I made a strong dedication to this; I shut my social life down. Only time I went out when I had the kids. Tina Time was out the door for the time being. I meant what I said. Strong pure dedication and I was told it would favor for me in the long run. Good things happen to good people when they work hard towards a goal. I have worked hard on this and the first time in my life I am pleased with myself, I hated myself for a long time now. Feeling like that means the world to me. My next book is playing in motion as well I can’t wait to start on that one. It will be a challenge however I am up for it just saying. Gotta love my twisted life.