Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder
That is a
(big) word to comprehend. However I understand it totally. I have done
extensive research on the subject because I relate to it so much. I have not
been the one to take meds. It takes an act of congress to take some Tylenol for
a headache. Back in 2004 may be close to 2005 I took Zoloft and I hated it. If
a bomb dropped in front of me. I would have thought it was a beautiful sight to
see. I quit taking them; I have no plans of becoming a zombie any time soon. Those
medications are for the fucking birds. I just dealt with my problems and how I
survived that era in time is beyond me. I knew God was carrying me through this
but I would not open my eyes to it pure honesty right there. The way I see it,
God is good all day and every day. When he came to me and opened my eyes up
about writing these books to heal me and help others out as well. I knew he
loved me and I felt comfort for the first time in my life as I started to write
these books. I am glad I did. I love him and he loves me nothing else matters.
So that is that.
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder
People that
knew me and the ones I had problems with didn't know how close they come just
to be a distant memory in their loved ones eyes. I was about to break. September 2010,
I had enough, I was about to snap. I wanted to be left alone. I was tired of my
2nd husband and his stupid ass brother sending people to my house or anywhere, inviting me to
different functions. Like I would go I don't think so. Yep, 3 hots and a cot plus a dose of
lethal injection were in my future. That’s real talk. They better be thanking
their lucky stars that they are living today. So I thought I would do a
testimonial on the internet and see where it would lead me. I am glad that I did.
September of this year of 2013 will be 3 years. It will not be long I will have
my 1st book online and my 2nd book to follow then the 3rd.
Writing has been a blessing to me. I have grown into such a better person and
my chip on my shoulder is slowly going away. God is good, enough said.
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder
It didn't affect me just the last 9 years of my life it has affected me my whole life. I
just did not realize it until I sat down and started to write about it. I started to get
everything off my chest and put everything in perspective to analyze what I
have dealt with over the years. It is shear amazement how writing will open you
up and make you see things on a different level. I hate Arkansas, ‘ignorance is
bliss’ that is putting it mildly. My 2nd book opened my eyes so much
and I can’t wait to talk about it.
I have
written people off in my life, they carry poison and make me miserable they
can’t be around me. I tried to get help in Arkansas; I couldn't now the FBI is
begging for people to step up. I have been dealing with dirty ass cops and
informants since 2004, punk-ass bastards. I don’t feel sorry for what I have
said on here either. I ain't sugar-coating shit, nobody got time for that. I am
going to keep doing what I am doing and I will eventually have all 4 books
online. Then I will start on my novellas, I will start with JB. Yeah, the one
that got killed at the Supercenter parking lot, I refuse to hear the word,
‘horse playing’ hell to the NO! I done a blog on that as I recall! IDGAF about
the money, the books that hold near and dear to my heart, the family will get
50% of what I make. I know I have done 4 blogs of the ones that stood out to
me. There will be a list of names that I want for a charity type thing I will
have to research it more to get what I need to make it happen. It will happen.
I am for these families and I hope they see justice.
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder
I have faced
this a different way. No, I don’t drink like a fish. I might drink half a dozen
times a year no more than 12 out of 365 days to be exact that’s a good number I am NOT a drunk.
I like to cut up from time to time, hell, who don’t. I fucking can’t stand
drugs except pot. I wish marijuana was legal. I could roll through these books
like a boss smoking straight from a bong while I type. Maybe one day it will be
legal in all 50 states, it’s getting there. My only problem is I just have zero
tolerance to bullshit that’s all. I am not gonna put up with not a motherfucking
thing. I don’t give a damn who you are, cops, informants my dad IDGAF. Man,
alive I am so surprised that I haven’t snapped. It’s a blessing in disguise. It
would have been a blood bath if I had. I believe that God knew I was at my
breaking point; he came to my rescue with my books. I love him for that and I
can’t wait to get published. I can become a published author however I can’t
get my college degree. Like someone told me, I will be free and clear of debt
and I will get my college degree once I get these books selling because God is
that good and he will carry you through this storm and bring you into a better
life. Tina, you got to have faith. I love my friend to death she rocks! I hope
she is right, I need a motherfucking break, I really do. I am hoping for one.
