Suicidal Tendencies

This is a touchy subject for anyone. However there’s someone everyday pursues the mission and accomplishes it. When a person is pushed to the edge and they think there’s no way out, suicide is the only option. To the ones that have read my book, knows what I am talking about. I have been there a few times in my life needless to say. I think the last time was the scariest of all. 2010 was a horrible year for me at that time I had to move back to a place that I did not want to move back too. Why would I? My 2^nd ex-husband would not let go of me and my ex brother in law would help my 2^nd ex-husband to whatever he wanted.  I was tormented by the cops and I was tormented by them. I was thinking why would I want to move back? I was better off dead so I thought and to me that was the most logical answer at that time. I knew what I was up against and I knew what I was about to encounter and with no help at all none what so ever. That kind of torture is horrible and I was 36, I did not know if I could hold up to another beat down, I really did not know if I could handle it.  However it’s 2014 and I am here blogging for some reason God spared my life once again. I am very thankful for that. In that year of 2010, when I did move back, I had a lot of pressure from May to September. I gained a lot of weight and I always asked why was my life spared? Then I had a nephew in Denver, Colorado he did commit suicide and it went through he was just 21 years old a few days shy of his 22^nd birthday. No one did not know what had happen in April of 2010 with me when I attempted suicide to be honest this is the first time I have opened up about it and its (2014) I kept my silence because my mom, would have lost her daughter and grandson in the same year if my planned went through. I look back and see the pain I would have caused everyone and then they would have had to go through it all over again with my nephew. I felt really bad and I had to keep it all inside because I did not know how to open up, to me I thought that was for the best. It’s all about timing.

 Now this is the reason why I stood up for myself and started to fight back in September 2010. I think it’s time to let the cat out of the bag. I was thinking about my nephew and I was thinking about my situation and I was like fuck this shit, let’s get a testimony up and knock this out the ballpark. A lot people really think they know me and they really don’t, my 2^nd book is cleaning out my closet ode to my father since he is a POS. Why I think that, because he could not help me when these sorry son of bitches were stalking, slandering and bullying me running me into the ground with no hope and no control of the situation. You want to know why? He had his hands dirty in this county and they were holding that against him and he was making it really hard on me with my blog if you read my book you would know what I am talking about. Oh the south, oh the corruption. I just hate it! However that is OK. I am proud of my 2^nd book. I am talking about stuff that I need to talk about and there is some stuff that I hid from a lot of people.  It’s time to be honest and open.

In this county I was told I wrote (a tell all book).  No, I am not writing (a tell all) book.  I am writing a cleansing book to cleanse my soul of toxic people that’s all. God has NO problem with it and that is a fact sometimes things need to be done like that and all I have been through and I have been through hell. I am one tough cookie. I have been in some horrible situations in life and I came through like a champ. I know when it’s time for me to go, I will be in the arms of the loving lord and I will be praying for the ones that need to be prayed for. I have hit a spiritual realm with my writing thus far and I thank God for that because he is good all day every day. My 2^nd book, I am seeing things on a different level. I am seeing things on a 40 year old perspective. I can’t wait to publish that one. There are some that are going to be mad and there are some that are going to say, way to go Tina. When you get to a point in life that you don’t give a damn what others say, you are on a level that can’t be explained. It feels pretty damn good to me!

Standing MY Ground!

I have been standing my ground for a very long time now, oh, about 10 years or so.

I was asked if I regret writing this book and putting it out there like I did?

My answer was, HELL NO! It is what it is and I want my story out there, no ands, ifs or buts about it.

Chapters 1-45, that was MY journey through hell and how I survived I just don’t know. Chapters 46-54, now that was a fictional ending I needed a happy ending in reality my life is still the pits and I need a miracle really bad however I count my blessings not my problems on a daily basis. I pray, pray, pray all the time. That’s what keeps me going in this cruel county I live in.

I was told that a few were having fits over my book. I am going to explain this one, these people that are having a fit over this book. I got a few words for those type of folks. Guilty Conscience Complex; that is being honest about it. I went through hell and back several times over. I have every right to write these books and published them. Cops and the informants are having problems with me as well; they can pretty much kiss my ass to be honest. Now, I am NOT saying all the cops here are bad majority of them about 90%. Brutal honesty right there! Only 10% are good cops here.

I had another question asked…..

Do you really think that you will get on the Dr. Phil show? I am going to try my best to get there. That is when all hell is going to break loose. When I talk about this can you imagine my emotions my feelings, OMG ~ it will be off the charts no doubt about that. I can’t wait, I am ready. I am very strong willed and strong minded person, I will get there.

My second book is another blessing from God and I am glad that I am able to write this book and I am glad that I will be publishing it too. I am to that point in my life, I don’t give a damn. I am going to write and I will be doing it straight from the heart those are good reads needless to say. This is the best therapy ever; God is good, all day every day. I am thankful that is he is walking with me through my storm. When I get through it, I will be a brand new person inside and out. I am going to be on the east coast thanking God that I am NOT living in the south can’t forget Arkansas too this state sucks. Drowning in my pain that’s NO life to live, WTF! I will be living somewhere and be happy for once. I can’t wait for that day. I can’t wait to meet this certain man either, he lives on the east coast too. I can’t wait to get there and start a brand new chapter in my life and I deserve that much. Happiness is what I want and happiness is what I aiming for, amen! 

My Book Promotion, Thank You

The Wolverton Mountain Woman, here are several of my links: This is an actual place, you can Google these places in my book, I just changed the names of the people to stay out of the court room.
My Blog, the link below tells the story very well. Chapters 1-45, I went through that, that's all me now chapters 46-54 are fictional, like I stated I don't need to be in court. I am so proud of myself for doing this. A very brave thing to do. Book number 2, I am very proud of can't wait to publish. DO NOT publish with Outskirts Press!




ATTENTION PLEASE: Here are my links to my different activities that I have going on the Internet. My BLOG is a must READ
to understand my book and my upcoming books. I hope and pray to make the Dr Phil show.
===============================
(My BLOG link) A MUST READ!
http://itinagraves.blogspot.com/
================================
Author Central
http://www.amazon.com/Tina-Ann-Graves/e/B00J1QCUY8
Good-reads
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/30556892-tina-graves
=================================

My NOOK:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-wolverton-mountain-woman-tina-ann-graves/1118461383?ean=9781478726524&itm=1&usri=9781478726524&r=1
My KINDLE:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1478726520
==================================

My (TWITTER) Link
https://twitter.com/iTinaGraves
My (Instagram) link
https://instagram.com/tina_ann_graves/

My (Facebook) link
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tina-Graves/132151743601376
My (Personal) Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/itinagraves
====================================
(My BOOK) Links
http://outskirtspress.com/WolvertonMountainWoman/
http://www.outskirtspress.com/bookstore/9781478726524.html

My 1st book, stepping stone to my 2nd book

My 1^st book, I am so glad that it is here! You know if I had more money and more time I could have had a killer book. However I’m a poor ass bitch that doesn't catch a break nor do I have the time. I had to make the time and worked my ass off at the hospital to get a decent package for my book; I still had to borrow money towards the end because I wanted my cover to stand out. This was NOT an easy feat at all, I had to spill my guts out over the past and make a fictional ending to set it off right without landing in to court. I done the best with what I had and with what time I could give. My life is totally a mess and my book explains that much! I am not lying by any means and I feel oh so better getting it off my chest. To be honest I really don’t give a flying fuck what these people (who) I know that hates what I (have) done because they don’t have to go through the turmoil that I have to go through every day they don’t see that at all. My mom has been the only one that has seen the mess that I am going through each and every day. It just feels good that the beginning and the middle of the book was all ABOUT me and I talked about it. I thought I did a kick-ass job at the end of the book and I totally finished my ending in a psych ward how ironic was that. I have been drove fucking crazy by these people. I am so glad that I started this back up in 2010 on the internet. I look at movies that are a franchise and see the first movies not looking too hot or they could have done better with this or that. They were like me, doing the best with what money they had to start the project with. When the 2^nd movie came out the movie looked better and things started falling into place. That is how I see my books; my first book may not be at its best or whatever. I thought I did well, when the money comes in the 2^nd book will be better than the 1st because I can do oh so much more with it. That’s what you call starting from the bottom working your way to the top. I will have total of 4 books with my Wolverton Mountain Woman series. As I write my 2^nd book I really don’t how I am living in 2014 I really don’t know how to be honest. God is really good; he has been carrying me for a long long time. Now I know what he is trying to do for me and my writing will guide me into a much better direction in life and I will be able to take care of my kids and my mom the way I want too the way I need too. I am going to have negative feedback and I am going to have positive feedback either way I am going to grow from this good or bad and become the person that God wanted me to be. I know that I am driven and strong-willed, like the story goes, get tough or die!

CLICK ON LINK TO PURCHASE MY BOOK:

http://outskirtspress.com/WolvertonMountainWoman/ 

2014

Before I start off with my Blog, I wanted to state that I am turning a very negative situation into a positive. I am reaching into deep dark realms of despair within my life and focusing on healing myself and my soul. Here in the south that’s hard to comprehend. I found an outlet and I am taking advantage of it through the help of God. There’s nothing wrong about healing myself and writing it in a story form. I am coming out of a dark hole and into light; I love every minute of it. I think I have every right to do this and I don’t have to make sense to others as long as I am learning and healing from my writing. This is my journey no one else’s. I just took a unique stance and I have no intentions of backing down what-so-ever.

I have come a long way since 2010 in retrospect since 2007, I really began to blog then however I have lost numerous Myspace pages because of hackers. That is OK though, it has made me stronger in the process no matter if they are here or not. Writing is such a sweet release and it keeps me from going to jail with that being stated I don’t have to worry about 3 hots and cot plus a dose of lethal injection. I am making it through this and even if I am losing a lot of people along the way, I just have a good feeling that God is leading me into a better direction in life.

My life has been in shambles since 2010. I have had to move and I had to sell all my stuff. I had to sell all my stuff not once I had to do that 3 times in my life. I got involved with the wrong men and after the 2^nd time, I said, hell with it and I have remained single since 2004 I had to sell all my stuff twice over that sorry bastard. This time I really sank in a hole. The last time I got a car was in 2005, how I could get another car with the mess that my last ex made for me. I really don’t know how I am standing but I am God has a plan for me with my writing and that is a fact.

OK, here is the deal with my book. I am doing my books to get myself out of the hole, get my mom’s bills paid off too most of all I WILL make sure that my kids go to college and have a home and car because I know how hard that is and I will help my children anyway I can. I know one thing that is for certain, my children will never ever go down the path that I chose. My children are smart well behaved and very loved. I see a motherfucker get in my way over these books because I am telling the truth BUT in a fictional way. I will throat punch so fast they will wish they were dead. I have dealt with enough of the chaos and bullshit for a life time. Now I want to live in peace and tranquility. My kids come first and that is that. I will make sure they are taken care of.

I was told if anyone tried to sue me, that right there alone is a guilty conscience. People really don’t know of the ones that I am talking about and they might not want to be seen to be honest however I will make the Dr. Phil show, it will take some time but I will get there. I was told I really need to get my 2nd book online to step up in that direction where Dr. Phil can understand it better. I am halfway done with my 2^nd book in a few months I should be good to go and send it off. I think that these people should see my emotions and how I really feel about this situation. It’s not going to be a pretty sight to see and that is real talk. I was told you will make an impact with the Dr. Phil show for sure.

Only the people that have problems with my blog, my book are the ones that are afraid of the truth that’s all. I have been through hell, oh about 50 plus times. Like the old saying goes, “Religion is for the ones that are afraid to go to hell, spirituality, are the ones that have been to hell numerous times like myself.” I am glad that God chose me to write myself out of this situation. I know deep down in my heart that I will help others out too because they will relate to it somehow someway. I just have bigger balls than most people around here because I am one fed up woman. 

 Why I chose Portland, Maine. I want a fresh new start and I want to be at peace and I want to live where no one knows me because all due in respect I don’t like to be fucked with. I have dealt with a lot of trauma in my life and I would like to heal from that before I die, I really would. I just want to be at peace and something tells me that Portland is where I need to start go from there. I know I will never be the same but I like to have a chance of happiness I think I deserve that much I really do. 

Depression Sucks Ass

Depression sucks ass that is an understatement for me it is. I am going through all kinds of emotions with my 2^nd book. My 2^nd book is based on my life and I am taking it way back to 1976 to 2011. My memory goes all away back to 1976 and I am really amazed at myself with this book. I have a good memory or someone is with me spiritually guiding me through this like my 1^st book. I swear I felt some kind of spiritual guidance with me at that time no joke. 

I think that is why my book is so life like because it was MY life that I was unfolding. I have had to deal with so much stuff and I have encountered many things over the years and I am surprise that I am alive and kicking today to be honest. I have dealt with depression all my life but as I write about it my depression is leaving me and it feels so freaking good. I had a block about a couple weeks ago. I just wanted to stay in a cold dark room and not get out just shut everything off, I wanted to quit. I am head strong and I had to fight and fight real hard to escape that nonsense. I can’t afford to do that literally I can’t.  I am already in the poor house I did not need to be homeless and depression will put you there in a heartbeat. Because depression is not prejudice at all it will attack anyone that is weak and I refuse to be weak and let this get to me. I have to be strong and move along. I am overcoming things and even if I have to pull out the skeletons that are in my closet so be it. I am dealing with it. I needed to do this. 

I know at this time in my life I needed to write these books. I know I will piss some people off and some people will be proud of me either way I am proud of myself and that's what counts. I am conquering these demons that have been weighing me down for many years now. I think to myself so many people thought I was just a stupid little country girl from Wolverton Mountain and I would not amount to a hill of beans, they have another thing coming to them. I am a whole lot smarter than these inbreed assholes and I can’t wait to start on my 3^rd and final book. 

However my writing has just begun. I will do a book of all books when I get my self-healing writing out of the way. I understand now why I chose the life like I did and I know now how to make my future brighter not darker and if I lose people along the way I am OK with that maybe that is for the best. God is good and he is guiding me in the right direction and it took me nearly 40 years to do it better late than never I suppose. He is an awesome man that is real talk. God knows I am trying and that is all that matters. I am doing right by this some may like it some may not, and the ones that don’t they are the ones that don’t want to hear the truth, end of story. 

My 1st Book

My book, it took me about 6 months to type up and almost 9 months to get published. I was really worried about the publishing. I paid for it all by myself and that was a big accomplishment for me. I got what I could afford at the time and when I can get more money I can upgrade my package to what I want, I am glad I went with this self-publishing company. I have been blogging for a long time now here on BlogSpot and MySpace too. This book took my anger and rage to places that I haven’t been before. I knew when I went into this I needed to change the names however I kept the places to make it more personal. I had to watch my P’s and Q’s too. I came to almost 50,000 words and here comes a writer’s block because this was still going on and I did not know how to end it. I knew that I did not need any type of lawsuits of any kind. I have talked to 2 professionals and they told me to keep my feet firm on the ground because of the ones that really keep up with my sites. So I sat down with one of them and they told me to own the ending make it fictional, so a lawsuit couldn't be brought against me. I sat there like WTF am I going to talk about. I thought at that point just scrap the book and say fuck it be done with it. He told me to stop that nonsense come up with an ending. He had a piece of paper in his hand and he asked me, what is one thing you don’t believe in? I told him and he wrote it down he ask me again what is another thing you don’t believe in? I looked at him crazy this time and I told him. He wrote that down too. Then he gave me the piece of paper and told me I have my ending and get to work on it. I was in shock; I told him I can’t do this. He looked at me straight in the eyes told me (yes) you can Tina. You got this. So I ponder on that note for 2 weeks. Of all the places to get that piece of paper out and look at it. The ending came to me. I was in a good place too. That was when I worked psych a lot. Yes, I wrote my ending in between my 15 minute rounds. I know right, I have been drove crazy and I complete my ending in a psych ward as I worked. Til this day, I shake my head with amazement. I had people all around me telling me that I own this book and I need to own the ending too. I am very proud of this book and very proud of the manuscript review team with the company I am going with. They absolutely liked it. That boost my confidence up where it needed to be. I can’t wait for this book to get online. I have always liked to write and I am glad that was able to do this and I overcame my problems with these people. I don’t think I will ever forget what had happen to me but I will forgive and go on because that will help me out. My 2^nd book that one is about to kill me right now with depression but I have to hurdle through it like a champ just like I had to do with my first book. My first book I dealt with anger and rage now depression with my second book. I can’t imagine what my third and final book is going to bring me.  I am rolling with all types of emotions. I hope and pray that I get through it. 

You can Google this place and the county. There's already a book out about this county however I don't think there were many books sold at the time it was published to be honest. 

Immortal Hell

Immortal Hell that’s what I have been living in for the last soon to be 10 years of my life! I have been in a very long nightmare, it seem like it doesn't want to end for me. However I am about to end it with my fictional writing that I have done, I wish that I could have been more truthful with this whole ordeal but I don’t want any lawsuits. I have a knack in writing and I think that’s my second calling in life. I honestly believe that. I have been in the medical field for 21 years did not want to go that far to become an RN and I am glad I didn't because I want to remove myself from the medical field because it’s not for me anymore. I would have been a great RN but I don’t have the patience for the doctors because they are licensed thieves, end of story. In writing I find it comforting, motivating and stimulating.

You know since my 2^nd ex-husband doesn't want to pay his debts and I have to pay for them however that is OK now. When my book royalties come in I can actually get my shit together because in the last 10 years it’s been hard to do. I can pay off this nightmare of collection over the years. I have worked myself to death and still can’t get ahead. I can’t get a college degree either. It’s a damn shame too that a person can’t get a break from all the corruption from one county and that is a very, very sad thing right there. I will take care of my mom’s stuff too and make sure that my son and daughter is set up and when it’s time for me to leave this world. I will have it set up my children they will get 50/50 out of my writings/publishing’s that is a promise. Through my writing my kids will get a college degree and have a better life than me. I will make sure that their needs are met that is a promise that I can keep. They WILL NOT go through what I have been through not gonna happen not in this lifetime. I love my kids. Whatever comes my way with these books good or bad, I have a backbone and I can take the heat. I will do anything for my kids.

I am so sick of this bullshit I have to live in and I am so glad I took this to the internet like I did in 2010. I am so glad that I am growing on the World Wide Web too I am growing every day that will be a blessing for me, my mom and my kids in the near future. I can’t wait to get my ass on Dr Phil either. I am not going to hold in my emotions and rage. I think people should see how I really feel about this situation and my dad’s situation. IDGAF what people around here has to say about it. If it is something negative they can suck my dick. I am that fed up. All I am doing is telling the truth and not sugar coating a damn thing. My cup has runneth over a long time ago.

I can’t wait to move to the east coast. I can’t wait so I can breathe again and I can’t wait to rebuild my life and this time I am going to rebuild it through writing. I done my compassion and hospitality work for a long time in the medical field and now I want to hang that up and go with the flow with words because words are beautiful. I am tired and exhausted because I can’t get NO where in life because of the nosy ass bastards that I have to deal with. I can’t wait for karma to zap their ass and make them feel like I felt, hopeless and nowhere to go just a dead end road of destruction for many many years. They need to feel what I have felt over the years. It’s not a good feeling to be burden with and trying to live your life in the meantime through the darkness.

I have a right to walk away from my dad too, I put up with mental abuse and control for 37 years. 37 years on an emotional roller coaster ride from hell. Yes, there were good times but the bad outweighed the good.  I don’t have to worry about being mentally beat down any longer, I don’t have to worry about crying over hurtful words, I don’t have to live in fear and I don’t have to feel like a piece of shit laying on the floor because I didn't want to do something that I did not want to do in the first place. My second book, I see in a whole different light. I see things for what they are and it’s not a good feeling to have. I am proud to write this book, I needed to do this and God knows it too. God has been through every step of the way with my writing and I thank him for letting me to release how I feel. Amen!

Moving away I can heal myself and that is a good thing right there I need that so bad. I am glad that I am able to recognize it and walk away from it. I am NOT a bad person for doing so people think I am, they can kiss my ass, seriously they can! My cards in life that I have been dealt with have been a pretty shitty hand. I am NOT going to let this get the best of me any longer. It has got the best of me majority of my life. I am glad that I decided to write myself out of this situation through a self-publishing company I can’t wait to get started with them. I wanted to pay for this on my own, money doesn't come to me easy; I have to work my ass off for it that’s the God’s honest truth. A very smart move for a woman that has had a dark cloud over her most of her life because I still have that hope for better days to come. Since writing I have become more positive than negative, I thought I would never see the day. I am proud of myself. I think I have handled myself pretty good so far and I am so ready for my publishing’s in the near future. I have worked my ass off to the bone and it will pay off in the long run.

I am done, stick a fork in me! Done, Done, Done!

I think I am plagued by ‘white trash’ this letter that I got today about done me in, no I take that back it did do me in almost to my grave. The deaths that I have to deal with and the ignorance of one situation over an innocent life, I really don’t know how much more I can take of this nonsense. You can look back in my blog archive and see what I have been dealing with when it comes to taxes. I have been sinking like a turd in the well since 2010. The motherfucker hasn't filed his fucking taxes since 2003. If he filed his fucking taxes they would have not sent me a letter. I am the ONLY one filing taxes and yes they are going to come after me and I think I might quit filing my taxes too. Hell he does not work, he just a piece of shit, end of story. Low life white trash! Some of his people were in my house not that long ago. They can’t get enough of me I suppose; hell I don’t know what is going on. Then I get this letter in the mail. Someone told me I can get a lawyer he can go back on my federal (I paid in 8 grand already) and state and make him pay for what I have paid in, ‘innocent spouse’ I can be reimbursed if I just try. I really need to be reimbursed more than $15,000, what I have to put up with for going on nearly 10 years. That is REAL TALK! That is entirely to long to put up with situation like this to be honest.

I am going with my BFF on this one, once I get my books online. I got a 2^nd job for that too to get the job done. Now I have to get a 3^rd job for the lawyer fees. God damn those motherfuckers they are going to pay for this shit! However, she looked into my eyes and I was crying and carrying on here while back I had a meltdown. Because I had enough of this bullshit, she looked at me and said, Tina, once you are published and your book royalties come in and you will get on Dr Phil because this is right up his ally. Then you will have movie producers come to you because of the mountain you came from. Then you will have book royalties and movie royalties in the near future because you have something to write about. You want live in Maine, go for it. When you are in Maine then you see Arkansas on TV flipped them off and look up to God and say thank you, I am NOT living in that chaos anymore because my life will get better and better. She has a good point and I am going to achieve that. Because I am dying in Arkansas, I can’t get ahead here to save my life. I have been beaten down to the ground and I don’t know how I am still holding up but I know my writing will take me places because I have a story to write that is for sure a real thing. This is getting ridiculous it’s 2013. They need to pay that debt and close that fucking door! Amen!

On the note: I have no last names( but mine that is my name) nor addresses on that picture so go fuck yourself to Oblivion capish!  This is a story I’m not making up, when I find my federal; I will put another one with it. DILLIGAF, NOPE, BOOM!  Like an "Old" friend of ours told me, since we did NOT have any kids together this is one way to stay attach to my hip and I think they are right. I am about to unattached that shit real fast like. 

Well I finally have a letter in my hands and it's 2013 over taxes with his name on it. This will fit perfectly when I get on the Dr Phil show. I am NOT a lying bitch. Those people are the lying bitches. Living high on the hog, and lying every step of the way. Karma is going to be such a bitch to them one day.

They Say I am 50 Shades of Cray-Cray!

They say that I am a pain in the ass; they say that I am shit starter and they say that I should go to a psychiatric center.

To me, I don’t sugar coat anything, I call it like I see it and I don’t beat around the bush. Here in the South you are one of the above that I mention (you're crazy) if you don’t play by the rules. I am like ‘rules’ fuck that shit. Someone ask for my opinion, they better be prepared for the truth.

See I started this blog 3 years ago. I am going to give a prime example of what I am dealing with. See my paparazzi are a group of meth heads and it seems that I can’t get away from them. They stay up in my business and they stay up in my life. Tweakers will tweak. The geekers will geek. Until they get clean they will continue this nonsense of disrupting other people’s lives.

See I had 3 deaths in my family. My uncle which had cancer and we knew that was a given when his time came. Then my aunt got sick and died 5 weeks after my uncle. My aunt was a sudden death, she wasn't in good health but it was still a sudden death. I lived by her and it was a close nit circle. However when people die, others will come to the house bring food, flowers and money etc. That’s how it is and that’s all I have ever seen. Just helping each other out in a time of need, loss of a loved one.

We had lots of family to help too however a couple stood out and it was the night of the family hour. The 2 that wanted to stay behind and help, I was like hell no, that wasn't going to happen. Why? Because they are friends with the ones that I have been blogging about for oh about 3 years now! I was going to stay behind but there were couple said they would, so they did. We were told what had happen and they haven’t seen anything like it before and did not understand what was going on. Well, I knew and that was why I wanted to stay behind. I have zero tolerance to bullshit!

My opinion of this situation:

Here I have a blog out and I can’t stand these people and these people were in my home and my aunt’s home. One of them actually stood in my kitchen. I could NOT believe she was in my kitchen how bold and how dumb. I guess they don't understand LEAVE ME ALONE! I have blogged about this white trash bullshit for years all because my cousin invited them over.  Now, if they had sense but dope heads don’t have sense they would be like ‘hell no I am NOT coming around that place’ but there was a reason. How come they did not come over when I was there and other people was there? They came over when there were 4 people there not a house full and the other 2 stayed behind for a reason. That was very odd to come over like that, they are not welcome here.

The reason, I really don’t think they would have taken anything that night I really don’t however they were scoping the houses out though. Taking a mental picture and come back later on.  My ex brother in law from my last marriage have stolen so much shit in his lifetime it doesn't make sense. He gets away with it too, explain that one to me. Now we had 4 drug users and a drug dealer in these houses while EVERYONE was gone but a few. I really don’t appreciate this shit all. I am pretty much fucking pissed off about it. They knew I did not want them over and they done it anyways. I have been blogging and I have been tweeting. I did not do this for my health I did this because I can’t get help in Arkansas. This right here shows me a thing or two. It will be 10 years (mind you) in January I still have to put up with this bullshit. But that is OK……

I can’t wait to get my 1^st book online to sell and I will have my 2^nd book done soon when I can get it typed out but with my chaotic life of death I hope I can soon, it will not take me that long. I will get on Dr Phil too. I am so done with this situation. Dope heads get away with so much shit and it makes me sick. Then the police will NOT do a damn thing about it. That’s pretty fucking sorry. Coming into these houses has invaded my privacy and IF they come around, they are bought and paid for, end of story. I am NOT fucking around.