The East Coast

The East Coast that’s where I want to live, when I get my children raised, I want to get the hell up out of here. The Ass End of the World, Arkansas it’s no joke. I absolutely hate it here. I was born and raised in Arkansas all my life. So many has stated, why the East Coast? I don’t like the West Coast; I hate California as much as I hate Arkansas. Don’t get me wrong, the west is very beautiful, breath-taking scenery. I just don’t like it out there. I don’t like the North, Chicago is too damn windy. Maybe it was just a windy day, however it has stuck with me ever since. That’s what I remember. The South, let’s NOT go there. New Orleans one of my favorite places, I would not live there though. Florida is another fascinating place, still the South. The East Coast moved me for some reason. If I had the money and a 6 digit income, I would live in New York City in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. I was there just 2 and half days. That’s all it took for a young girl at that time and New York, imprinted my mind like no other, it has stuck with me for 20 years now. It has been that long since I been to the East Coast. I wanted to go this year and take my kids on an East Coast tour, but that has gone right out the window. I want them to see the East Coast and see how beautiful it is. What a damn shame. Well, at first I wanted to move to New Hampshire. However I have been doing my research on Maine. I am pulling towards that direction now. I want to be on the coastlines, where I can go to the pier when I get ready for some relaxation and some me time. No, I am NOT running away from Arkansas, I want to make that clear. I want to breathe again. I am mentally and emotionally scarred from the damages that I have had to endure living in Arkansas. I want to be able to learn to live again and breathe again and trust again. This part of Arkansas has taken a lot away from me. As long as I live here, I will not be able to forgive. I know I will never forget however there is a hump I need to cross over and I want to make a life out on the East Coast. Here in Arkansas, I still deal with chaos I don’t know what is going to happen to me from one day to the next. I hate Arkansas so much it’s kinda scary to be honest about it. I can’t get past things here and I will NEVER get past them as long as I live here. It’s going to take me to move far, far away from here to gain control of what I have lost. I know once I get to the East Coast, it will be so emotional for me because I actually got out of a hell hole, and not be stuck there the rest of my life. I will most likely be crying for a week when I get out there. I know I will NOT live long living in Arkansas. I live with too much stress. Going to the East Coast, I will have a chance to live. Here at the Ass End of the World, Arkansas. I am dying let’s be truthful about it. I am miserable and very depressed here because I feel trapped and I can’t escape. I am down in a hole with no control. Depression hurts so does, stalking, bullying and slandering. I am too scarred up. I hate life. I should not have to feel like that. I know that life is beautiful and I want to go where I can breathe and make a new life again. I just want to live the way I want too for once. That is not much to ask for needless to say. This has been going on for too long and I need a break of some sort. A person can put up with so much. This is not a win-win situation. I have put up with all can; by God I will find some kind of peace and tranquility out there. Enough is enough and I need a new direction. My life is really f**ked up at the moment, that is a damn shame too. It’s up to me to make a change and I am going to change this, seriously. Changes are coming, I am a very driven person and I will break through this, I promise that much.

My Depression TimeLine

I thought that I would talk about my depression and I have never been bashful discussing my feelings and emotions about my life. This is how I feel and this is a place to let it all out. My corner of the world on the internet, so therefore I thought I would do it in a timeline format. I will need this for my book anyways. However I am going to be short and simple and straight to the point. I will be the only one that truly understands this situation but in the future it will be more clearly to understand if you follow my blogs.

January- 2004-2005- was the hardest for me, I suppose. My X-husband left me, 1-21-04, on my birthday however it was the best birthday present needless to say. He played hell trying to set me up, with the help of the ‘Good Ole Boy System’ I had 2 nervous break downs in that time period. I had some horrific experiences that shattered my mind and soul. It was a very scary time for me because I would not take him back. When I am done I am done, end of story. Next, move on.

November- 2005-2010- by November of 05 I moved to Little Rock, I more-less got ran of the county. I just could not take it anymore. My anxiety was high; I was stressed out to the max. I was gaining weight and my hair was falling out. I did not have any help in this county these people were killing me. But I remember something quite distinctive, when I was moving from my place that I had to sell to my moms and then from my mom’s to  Little Rock, my ex-husband was watching as he and his brother was parked in front of my mom’s house. Til this day, it makes me sick to my stomach. Why that still lingers is beyond me, I still get a sickness feeling though it’s horrible. From this time period, in the five years I was away. The cops done their-damnest to watch every move I made in this county as I came to visit. I believe the stalking and the slander was the highest in that timeline but it got worse. I had a hard-time living in Little Rock, I went back to college. I was living from my work check and my student loans and my income-tax check. I was making it barely. But I was making it to the best of my ability. I still had a good GPA, for what I was dealing with, it could have been better if I was not under all that stress. The cost of living was outrageous, however I was trying to complete some form of education. It did not quite happen as I planned. I look back and I don’t know how I done it or best yet, how I am still living to be honest. By 2010, my life went to hell in a hand-basket. All I have done to try to stay out of this county; I was brought back to it. That hurt me tremendously.

May -2010-2012 well, I had to move back to this county for numerous reasons. However I got stuck here. Just for a time being though, until I get my kids through High School. When I moved back in May 2010, I had a hard time. I mean the slandering was at its finest during that time. I guess May to September 2010, were extremely hard months. If it wasn’t for one thing going on it was another my stress levels were high I mean deathly high. It mainly came from cops and informants; my ex-brother-in-law from my last marriage is an informant. He was causing me 9 kinds of hell. So therefore, September of 2010 I had enough, I started my testimony on MySpace at first. I had a friend in college to tell me about BlogSpot in October of 2010, I started to blog. She told me to blog about everything that was going on she told me it was like a diary. If something came up that I did not like post it. I look back on it; from May-September 2010 I was on a verge of another nervous break-down. I am glad that I started this blog; it really has helped me out. I thank my friend all the time for telling me about BlogSpot. She was worried about me and she was afraid that something bad was going to happen.

After all this is said and done. I have had my weak points in my life I sure have, sometimes I just wanted to die. Lay down and die and give up. I just wanted peace and tranquility that’s all. This blog now at this present time, April 2012, I don’t have any problems. The problems I had I was going to blog about it. Now I am going to blog about different occurrences that has happen in this county. I have had people to tell me stuff and they want me to blog about it. Like I told them, no names no places, I can tell it in a story like way even-though it had happen. When I start on my book, I have to change names and places. I am pretty sure the word permission is out of the question. Maybe one day in the future when the sh*t hits the fan, I can actually put links on here and maybe I can use some of the names and places, who knows.

This has made me into a strong person, I don’t put up with no sh*t what-so-ever I have zero tolerance all away around and I can smell bullsh*t a mile away. I do have to thank them for that. I will forgive them when they get in trouble with the higher law. That will be the only time I will do it. I have lost so much through this and I am so scarred up mentally. I have stayed in poseur through this and how I just don’t know. I am strong-minded and strong-willed and also free-spirited.  I have been through hell, but I am going through it like champ. I can say this much, I am not an alcoholic nor a dope-head neither a pill popper. (I'm better than that, I know better) I did not get weak-minded through this; I stood my ground and done the best that I could even if I was drugged through the gates of hell. I am still going through hell, however I think a break is on the way for me and that makes me into a very happy person. I hope one day these sons of bitches get what is coming to them. That will be the day, I will LMFAO, seriously. Karma is a BITCH, what goes around always comes back around! I can feel her presence coming and I can also see that I will be smiling from ear to ear.

The Medical Field

The medical field, man (that) is an understatement that can go into so many directions; however I have had enough of that field too. I like the medical field about as much as I like Arkansas. I am just stating the truth straight from the bottom of my heart. I have been in the medical field since 1992, I am a medical assistant, I can do just about everything a nurse can do except push meds. Yea, I wanted to get my RN license that lasted like a ‘fart’ in the wind after a few years at a hospital. I can do it, but my heart isn’t into it. I have worked in all kinds of areas in the medical field to be honest about it. I will be broken down in a few years; I want to leave this profession ASAP. I am hoping this year. I am tired of the understaffing, I am tired of the mistreatment and having to do a floor by yourself, and slim to none help from the co-workers. Just isn’t cutting it anymore. I have went home several times, 35 patients by yourself and be drug around like a rag-doll by the ones that you are working with, trust me most treat you like sh*t. I know this too well, I will take my ass to the house, I am NOT f**ked up about it either. I have to put up with major sh*t in my own life and then I have to put up with it at work too. Most of this is uncalled for; the hospital can staff the floors however it defeats the purpose when it affects the administration bank accounts and the particular cars they want, the pencil pushers, those are the ones that actually need to get off their ass and do some physical work and see what it is to work understaff and beat your body down to the ground. I have seen nurses collapse in the middle of the floor and I have also seen them got to the ICU and get blood transfusions because their body just worn down. I refuse to go and get a degree and (I hate the job too), no matter what the pay is. I am 38 I have to take care of myself; I just have one body and one life. It’s not worth it! In the medical field you’re just a warm body, if something happens to you, oh well, there is always the next person in line. I have been beat down in a 12 hour shift, barely got off the couch the next day, Icy Hot is my friend now. That is bullsh*t. I refuse to do it. I am very strong-minded and I will NOT let anyone run over me. I stand my ground at work. I bet some dread seeing me come to the floor because I will not put up with their sh*t! It’s a dog eat dog world in the medical field. I know I had my fair share of the chaos, I want a new direction, and I will find that direction I promise that much. The medical field is just not what it’s supposed to be and I have had enough of it to be exact. Time for a new direction in life, I am tired and burnt out 20 yrs. is too long to be honest. I want to do something else for the next 20 yrs.  something that I love doing that sounds so good. Maybe too good to be true, huh?

I Really do Believe that Jesus Drives a Harley

I really do believe that Jesus drives a Harley. What I am stating that he is just a regular person, like you and I. One thing about him he does NOT judge anyone or anything. I wish the rest of the world would see that on an eye to eye level.  However that is not the case. I am going to explain a few things since I live in the South and all, dysfunction at its finest. Shallow minds that sugar-coat and wrap it around religion.

I am sure that Jesus is not a racist. I had to put up with that all my life. My mom says we all bleed red and we are the same no matter what color we are. My dad says that we should stay in the same race and never mix. More-less, we are going to hell if we get out of our circle. As for me, I want to date outside my race, I will do so. I have always stated that ‘bi-racial’ children are the prettiest humans on earth needless to say. If my daughter or son wants to date outside the race, they will have me to back them up if I am still living. If not, I will still be backing them up spiritually if that is the case. Most racist people in the South are the most religious matter of fact. I don’t see how the ‘House of the Holy’ hasn’t fell on their heads as soon as they walk in the doors. Just stating the obvious to be exact, lol!

I am a supporter of gay and lesbian rights that goes for transgendered and bi-sexual as well. The list goes on...We all have some kind of rights and I think that we should live our life the way we want too. Not have religion slammed on our heads because it is immoral, that is bullshit!  I have a lot of best friends that are gay. I love them dearly. When I think my life is shitty, here comes one with open-arms and make me see some kind of light in my darkness. I would date a woman; if it so happen she is an African-American I would still date her too. IDGAF what people in the South thought about it either? I do what I want. Gays and lesbians need more rights I do believe and I know for a fact that Jesus loves them too! That’s how I will roll with that one =)

After all this is said and done, I do believe that Jesus drives a Harley. The maker knows my pain and my struggles here in the South. I can place a bet that I will be riding on the back of that Harley going through those pearly gates. I am NOT afraid of dying and my stress levels right now are so high, I would NOT doubt I will be dead in the next 6 months. However it turns out, I have done my best even-though my head was pinned on the ground for the most part of my life, because I could not breathe like I wanted too and live the way I wanted too. I live in hell and I don’t sugar-coat a damn thing. Maybe I can over-come this maybe I won’t however it lands who-knows, I am pretty sure I will be riding on the back of that Harley one-day, that is promise I can keep and he will be smiling down on me. Death is not a threat, death is a reward. Peace and tranquility at its finest =)riding on the back of a Harley will be a major plus.

Religion is "Big Business" seriously!

Religion is ‘Big Business” especially in the South. Whenever you walk into a Church, you see an immaculate setting. The technology has hit the highest I do believe. I remember when the churches were just simple and innocent. Now you see, big screens and elaborate pieces, what I mean, very materialistic gadgets. In some places it’s mind-blowing. Do you really need that stuff, to get the word out? I mean seriously do you? It has to cost out the ass, there would be no way around it. No wonder tithing is a major priority. I wonder if the ones that take up the tithing, think about the ones that are with little money or no money at all. They are giving their money up so they can get a reward after it’s all said and done. They don’t know if it’s coming to them or not. While the preachers and their family and don’t forget the ones that are on staff. Live in a big nice house and have top of the line products. Oh, don’t forget the cars and if their kids are in the picture and they drive, the cars they have too. I wonder every time they eat that big steak in a big fancy restaurant while the ones that give and they don’t have that much to give eats ramen noodles or they go without. I wonder if they think about the high tech stuff like computers and sound systems. The ones that give might get their lights shut off. No matter what anyone says, religion is ‘Big Business’ that is one way to make money and live high on the hog. I know a preacher that makes $1000.00+ a week and he is one sinning motherfkker. However he knows how to speak to the people and get inside their heads. People will give even if they don’t have any money to give. How sad and pathetic is that? It makes me so mad, however when people are brain washed, and the sheep will follow. That is why I have religion in my heart. I am a broke ass bitch and the maker knows that. I do my best throughout the day and am thankful that I am living and breathing. Tomorrow might not come for me but I know that I done my best when I have to go to the other side. I don’t think the maker told them to get the top of the line computers, phones or whatever. This is another part of corruption at its finest. If you can’t preach, preach simple and have simple ways of stating things.Don't preach! This high-tech sh*t is so over rated and I am so done with it, believe me. I don’t have a pot to piss in and window to throw it out of, but one thing about me I do have a heart. I think we are living in end of the times. I am thankful that I look at it on different angle and have realistic knowledge about it.

The 'Bible-Belt' AKA The South

The “Bible Belt” that about sums it up right there.  Talking about the ‘Sister Bertha’s’ for the ones that don’t grasp the concept behind it. I am talking about the ones that gossip and slander everyone around. The ones that can’t do any wrong, I see humor in these kinds of people. It just shows you how fake they are. I think if you walk into the doors of the holy, someone should hold you up into the light and see if they are real or fake. Just like they do money, which is my opinion though. Church is just not the same as it was years ago. It just grew into filth just like everything else in this world nasty as they come. I am not dissing the churches. I am just stating the ‘truth’ it is not a place to slander and degrade people. Because what they are wearing, what is going on in their lives or how they handle themselves?  This should be a time for stress relief and try to focus on the good in the world. There should be a place just like a ‘safe haven’ even if it’s just for a few hours. However that is hard to justify that meaning with all the meanness going on in this world. I don’t go to church; I have some kind of religion factors in my heart though. That is where I learn, I learn from the hardships of life and I learn a lot every day as I get up, every day lessons baby. I don’t have daily routines; I live in the real world. It’s either heaven or hell when I start my day. I love it when I have a heaven kind of day. I know someone is watching out for me, seriously. The hell kind of days makes my stress tumble down my spine and I know someone is teaching me a lesson that day. It’s schooling at its finest. The hard knock life do I need to say anymore? Religion can be your friend or it can be your foe. It’s all up to you. I don’t go to church because I can feel the nastiness of some people. I do feel the good of some however the bad outweighs the good. I am being straight up honest. All of it will come to an end one day, no more air in your lungs and your heart stops beating. Judgment Day, the day that someone can stand and say I done my best or IDGAF what I did in my lifetime, it’s all up to that individual I do believe. How you live is your life is your heaven or hell. For my part it’s both, never know from one day to the next. That could be a good thing. There is one thing I give it my best and go on with it.  However the cards fall that’s how it falls. Do your best and piss on the rest.

Stalking Slandering and Bullying

I have had plenty of people asked me do this and I told them when the time is right, I will share my perspective on these cases. I thought now the time is right; I am doing different angles on my writing. I know for a fact I am the only one with the balls to do this and I think this is part of my calling in life. There is a reason why I am in this situation that I am in and maybe just maybe, a breakthrough is on the rise for me. I am not ignorant, I am very intelligent. However I will continue my BlogSpot. This is part of my rights, “Freedom of Speech” so therefore I will keeping doing what I do best. I don’t have to explain that one.

Stalking, Slandering and Bullying are harsh words but I have had to live in hell for many years over these factors. My reputation was ruin and my trust in people has gone right out the door. I don’t care anymore because my soul has been torn to shreds and I have pieced myself together so many times. This last time, I think that I had to put myself back together was the final time. They can’t do it to me any longer, you know why? They have made me stronger and wiser and my skin is thick now. Forgive and forget is hard to do, I don’t know about that I can’t right now. I have to say I do give them a big ‘Thank You’ my life might be pure hell, I don’t know what is going to happen to me one day to the next, if my check is going to be ripped apart because I am in poverty level income because I can’t reach the means to get certain things done! But through all of this I am seeing a positive light I know that is hard to believe, it’s taking time and I hope for the best. I married two worthless men in my life, and I know now not to make the same mistake. I have learnt through my mistakes, believe you me, I have learnt the hard way. I have had to write people off and what surprises me, I see so much clearly now. I have always in my life had one parent. I will do a blog just on that in the near future. It will be the brutal honest truth, I grant you that. I have surrounded my life with positive people and man does that work? It sure does. I love it! There isn't a day that goes by, that I am not thankful and grateful for what I have because I appreciate everything that is presented to me, I promise that much about it. It could be here one day and gone tomorrow, in a split second. But on the other hand……

These are real families that are going through real tragedies’ they are also going through the Criminal Justice System with no faith in it, because of the ‘Good Ole Boy System’ defying their rights to believe in a fair and just trial. How can you believe that justice will be served when so many cases are covered up by these mindless bastards? The control of a small town’s corruption and I will tell you now they don’t give a damn how you feel about it either. Greed and control at its finest. They are not going to run over me, not by a long shot. I don’t have to mind these idiots; I control my life, end of story. These families have to sleep at some point and when they do, how many tears have fallen on their pillows over their lost loved ones that they can never see again in this lifetime. What they want is justice to be served not a God damn blanket thrown over the case, snug as a bug and it’s hard to get in there and find the true facts of the situation. If that was me, you think this blog is brutal; I would tear up Jack, like no other on the net. These families have feelings like any other person on earth. How dare these inbreed morons sweep this under the rug like it never happen. For an example, the Super Center blog, you can do your research and it’s like it never happen. This is a life, a young life to be exact, disappear like that out of the system, I don’t think so. May these rotten bastard cops get what is coming to them! IDGAF, what they think about this either, matter a fact they can kiss my ass. I think it’s time to put new law enforcement officers in and get the job done right for once in this county! I hope for the best for these families and they get the answers that they deserve to have. It’s about damn time.

That is why I want to go on Dr. Phil, not just talk about my life experience in this county and what I have to put up with just by getting out of a marriage. That is where it stems from and the nightmare it has brought me over the years. I want these families on Dr. Phil as well, I want the world to see what kind of corruption and cover-ups that the law goes through to keep the ‘Good Ole Boy System’ in tack over greed and control, right along with drug trafficking and the money that brings with it. I was told if I got on Dr. Phil my story alone would start the domino effect and then bring all the individuals that have had injustice with the system over the lost of loved ones throughout the years. It would be so dramatic however that is one way to get the ball rolling to get this county cleaned up. He told me he hopes he lives to see it happen. That would be the most delightful news since this has been going on since the early 1900’s. All it takes is one person and others will fall behind and let the story tells its own tell of lies and deception. This county has plenty of them needless to say.

A Super Center Nightmare

Just a regular day in a young man’s life, a few weeks before graduation, no one ever thought that it was going to be his last day on earth. He was a very free spirited and roamed the land like any other male around here. The rebel flag is a true statement especially in these neck of the woods, if you understand where I am coming from. When the night fell the darkness appeared and it was night life for the young people. Most hung out at the local Super Center parking lot in a small town that is what you do. This night was like no other; the young man was laughing and carrying on with his peers. That’s what you are supposed to do when you’re young be wild and free. Then around the corner approached another young man with a gun in hand, he went up to the free spirited young man and pull the trigger, out came a bullet went straight into his chest and down he went. His friends were screaming for help as they watch their friend bleeding uncontrollably trying to save him, however he died moments later. The shooter just left, he knew what he was doing, but he had friends in high places, “The Good Ole Boy System” they saved him, the chief of police wrote it off as horse playing. Imagine that……

What I am getting at, a young man’s life was taken away from his mother, father and brother, along with the rest of his family. This was a senseless act and it was taken too far the (reality part) of it. The shooter called the young man earlier that day, he had talked to the father, and he sounded very brutal in his voice as I was told. He had threatened this young man before nothing was done about it. When the cops protect the delinquent individual there’s no hope. So the cops played it out as ‘horse playing’ it was all an accident. That young man did not mean to kill him. I can’t stand the cops around here, they just piss me off. So that right there, a blanket was thrown on the case and it was snug as bug. If people would think it was a Super Center parking lot, there are surveillance cameras everywhere. That is a good question, but there was a time piece cut out of it that was a red flag, the time of the shooting, 10-15 minutes was gone. That should have not been tampered with to be honest about it. Chief of police took that out real quick, just saying. Give me a break, but did they think of the hard-drive? I don’t think so. The ‘Big Boys’ can carry on that matter all in due time. There are some part of the surveillance you cannot touch except for the ‘Big Boys’ there is a reason for that and they are the only ones knows where it’s at, as I been told.

What made me mad there were affidavits upon affidavits of other young people that were trying to help the dead individual out. It did not matter, the police stated it was horse playing by God it was horse playing. The cops around here can kiss my ass, I swear they can. The ones that should be thought of are the ones that grieve over him. The mother, the one that carried him for 9 months and raised him for 18 years and she took care of his boo-boos all that goes with it. I have seen her so many times at the cemetery just lying beside his grave grieving her heart out. That doesn’t count the rest of his family. He might have been a little rowdy, but he was a good kid, no one deserves that not at all, may he rest in peace and justice be done in the future for him.

Two Little Girls Without A Daddy

Can you imagine two little girls going through what they went through watching their dad get shot in front of them? That’s kinda hard to phantom needless to say for me it is. As I have been told, there was a confrontation going on in the middle of the living room, there was a young dad I suppose he was confused at the moment because of the bickering. It was a fight-or-flight, response. He got the hell out of dodge. He jumped from the back door however they met him in the middle. Some went out the front door and some went out the back door. Then a gun went off not once but twice. The second time as I was told he threw his hands up, to protect himself. As all of this was going down, two little girls under three seen this, sad but true. As the story was told he committed suicide in the bedroom and the gun was on the opposite side from where he supposedly shot himself. Like the gun was thrown there. Check this out, the cops were called and they came out. His girlfriend was there the whole time. She decided to take a shower and the cops let her. I thought that was odd and very stupid. But look at the situation the cops are just as stupid as she is, just saying. The cop scene on that was ass backwards like any other murder event in this county. This is stemming off the ‘Good Ole Boy System’ once again, geez does this ever end. However he was wrote off as a suicide, he didn’t shoot himself once he shot himself twice. He was carried through the living room and blood was dripping from him and he was thrown on the bed and gun was thrown on the left side. The forensics of this situation came from a child psychologist that studied these two little girls. By all means it was a suicide as the cops stated what a joke that was. I am calling it as I see it. Two little girl had seen a brutal attack.

Let’s back up on this, the summer before, he died on an Indian summer day to be exact. Lets’ look at June, my family and I were camping out about 2 in the morning we had a knock on the door asking for this young man. First middle and last name, she was frantic like she was on meth, I am not going lie about it. I always thought that was odd, he died 3 months later, you tell me? She went to every camp spot, to be exact. How strange?

Okay, let’s talk about the mother here, she had him at 16 and she was raised up with him for 23 years that was her baby. She also had a daughter; I believe they were 3 years apart. As brother and sister they were best friends. He had numerous people that loved him, his father and grandparents the list goes on. Another blanket snug as a bug on a murder rap, I get so sick of this crap. But there is something that is telling me justice will be served and those girls are in good hands of his mother (the grandmother) and I hope and pray that it stays that way. They don’t need to be around their mom, something tells me that she is bad news. I just have that gut feeling if you know what I mean. On the note, this boy did not have an autopsy like many other cases around here, from death to the grave. I bet there could be many stories to be told on many cases in this county, I grant you that.

A Stoplight Davastation

I am going to start this at the stoplight, where a young black man had his life taken away by a cop. He was shot 7 times but the cop was insisting that he was coming at him with the car. So therefore let’s shoot him 7 times, that young man was scared to death to be exact. Let me rewind this scenario for a more understanding of the situation. A week before he died, this young black man he was 19 to be exact. I was talking to his cousins, they were telling me which I stated up above a week before he died, he started making amends with people. He was more less in a panic mode, they told me. He said, “The cops are going to kill me.” He was serious about it, I knew from there he was knee deep in the sh*t that was and it’s still going on with the cops and the informants. I think what took ‘my breathe’ away he got baptized because he knew his time was about up. I had to stand back and grasp the concept that stood behind that statement. It totally blew me away. The night that he got in trouble, he was at a local liquor store and the story goes he took a bottle of whiskey, he jump in his car and that’s when all hell broke loose. All the cops were surrounded like in 60 seconds, I thought that was odd. It would not surprise me if someone told him to take the whiskey just to start the race. The dots are not connecting to tell the truth about it. There is big ass lie going on, I am positive about that. Okay at the stoplight where there was witnesses all around. To be exact he did not come at the cop he was trying to dodge the cop. The witnesses stated that, as the story goes it doesn’t matter, the cops are always right. However the cop shot at the car 7 times and the cop busted out the windshield. I had someone to tell me and the way they told me it was like a movie scene, the one that got shot turned into a slow motion visual. The car slowed down and he finally slumped over the wheel of his car finally the car hit the ditch as he died. The witness told me it was very devastating and heart breaking to watch. I was in tears when I was getting more of an understanding of his death. There is something more too it, I have that gut feeling and it’s not going away by any means. My thoughts on it; I was told a female cop done it, I don’t think so. I am female and you have to have good training with firearms to do that. I think she was taking the heat for the male cop. Anyways, he shot the windshield from the bottom worked his way to the middle to the driver’s head. I use to go target practicing and practiced on old cars in junkyards. Someone taught me how to bust out a windshield with a weak gun. The way I take it, cops can’t have high powered guns. I think they have Tasers now. They need those anyway; in a county that is corrupted they need non-violent firearms, seriously. This murder is fishy, No ands ifs or buts about it. You know what? It absolutely pisses me off! Over a bottle of whiskey, I don’t think so. There were witnesses they stated he was not driving towards the cop, he was trying to get away from the situation. Now I hope this one will get reopened back up? Where the right cops, not the crooked cops figure this out, it’s not adding up not by a long shot. I am flabbergasted and distraught over this one.